I need help to stop being a terrible person (Reuploading coz i broke a guideline)

I dont even know why im here but i feel like im out of options i dont wanna give to many details but im am eighteen year old boy

So im a horrible person im abusive mean and use the people i care about its like second nature at this point i dont know if im mentally ill or what yes my life is kinda shitty but my friends are so nice yet im a prick... its getting to the point im addicted to it like it makes me happy when there upset i really dont know what to do