Finances in relationships

my partner is trans (ftm) and hasn’t been ‚really‘ working since the start of his transition. he’s self-employed in the music industry as a manager. he needed some time off when he started to transition since his whole work persona used to be based on his identity as the ‚mysterious and bossy masc lesbian‘ he was before. this has been the situation for the last 1.5 yrs. i have been very supporting and understand that he needed some time away from the industry, since success as a manager is basically based on masking and this contradicts his journey of finding his real identity. the fact that he basically makes no money since 1.5 years is very detrimental to our relationship. :( plus i have been helping him with some work for his artists that is in my realm of expertise which basically has been his only source of income, which at some point felt ‚unfair‘ due to the amount of responsibility i had to have. i have a really hard time speaking about finances since i grew up in financial despair. i have a history of being parentified and having to help my single mom financially and emotionally. so this whole situation completely replays my trauma in a way. i currently earn well for the first time in my life because i took on a job with more responsibility. i did this bc i want to go to uni again, so i needed to save some money for that. i am currently overworked tbh. the longer this situation goes and the less money he makes, i don’t feel comfortable having to step up financially for the both of us. i pay about 20% more for things such as rent and bills but i am realizing that i can’t to any more than that bc i am starting to feel resentment – i know it’s hard for him, the transition sometimes seems like a full time job with all the bureaucracy it takes to get surgery etc. but i currently feel like he is expecting me to pay more and pay the bill each time we go out for dinner etc. he keeps saying stuff to his family eg that i am the big winner, while i don’t feel like i really am? i just earn well but i am not rich, plus i work a lot. today we had a fight bc one of my friends is getting married quite far away. i paid for the gift for the both of us but there’s a hotel + ride to the place we will have to pay for. i reminded him that we need to pay the accommodation but that i already paid for the gift so he doesn’t need to worry about that. he seemed kind of bugged about the fact that he’s supposed to pay for the hotel – it’s just his part of the bill. no thank you or any sort of acknowledgment for the gift that i paid for. sorry this is such a rant rn but i am just exhausted and sometimes feel like an asshole that i don’t just say ‚it’s fine i’ll just cover all expenses‘ but the reality is that i am not wealthy at all + i have plans for my career that i need so save for while he’s having so much spare time every day. i don’t understand why he doesn’t get some sort of regular job with a regular income and expects me to cover for us :(