Toddler fixations- suggestions welcome

Our daughter just turned 3. It’s been rough for a little while now.

We try to take her to do lots of fun activities regularly. Leaving them is so hard because she gets so upset. Lately, after school, she has asked for the same activity. “I want to go to XYZ.” Sometimes we cannot take her for this activity. When we say, “hey I know you want to go do XYZ, but we have to have dinner first.” She gets so upset and to the point of inconsolable. She then gets defiant and says “no” to all directions because she is mad or upset. We’ve tried distractions, offering choices of things she can so, time outs, talking to her, and explaining that we don’t get what we want when we throw fits.

Do you have any suggestions on how we can handle this better? Often times our evenings are so rough because of the fixation and then consequences for being mean or misbehaving.

Thanks friend ♥️