I cant make friends

The title sounds like I’m in elementary school.

I (20F) have never been good at making friends. I can count on one hand the number of people I personally know, and only need one finger to count how many of those are friends, that one finger being my boyfriend.

I have tried time and time again to cozy up to people and try and start a friendship, but I’ve noticed that if i leave that person’s day to day life, like switching jobs or degrees. That person will stop talking to me slowly. In my last job, i thought i had made oretty good connections with my coworkers, but after my last shift, no one said goodbye or texted me at all ever again. Or if i stop initiating hang outs of conversations, people wont start it themselves.

I dont know if its simply because of how I may be as a person. But I’ve watched movies, read books, watched ted talks or online therapy advice. And even when I try to change the way I interact or present myself, no one sticks.

I’m getting to the age where marriage is something that will happen in the near future, and i see so many videos and posts about women having such fun bridesmaids and maids of honour. It’s so upsetting to me because i don’t think i will ever have one of those, let alone a whole small group.

I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.