Wife Agreed to a Polygamous Relationship with Her Best Friend… Now She’s Backing Out

I 35/M have been married to my wife 32/F 4 years, and about a year ago we started exploring the idea of a polygamous relationship specifically with her best friend 30/F. It’s been an on-and-off thing, and I’ve done a lot to try and make my wife feel comfortable with everything lots of conversations, boundaries, check-ins, and honestly, some emotional gymnastics.

Three months ago, I brought up the idea of finally having our first real 3-way experience as part of my birthday. She agreed. No pressure just wanted a solid plan and commitment if we were all feeling good about it. Everything was going fine until three days before my birthday, when she suddenly tells me she’s no longer okay with it not with her friend, anyway. She said she’d rather we explore with a complete stranger instead of someone she knows and trusts.

Here’s the kicker: me and her best friend have developed feelings for each other during this process. Nothing inappropriate has happened without my wife’s knowledge this was all supposed to be part of the arrangement. But now I’m stuck in the middle. My wife is backing out, her best friend and I are emotionally invested, and I honestly don’t know what to do.

Do I push back? Try to renegotiate? Respect her change of heart and walk away from the idea completely? Anyone who’s been in a similar situation your advice would really help.