I'm done. There's nothing left for me.

Long story short, I'm a queer and neurodivergent adult in western Canada. I'm unemployed, no income, no close friends and distanced from family, and only have my fiancée that has to deal with the burden and disappointment of a partner that is myself.

As of yesterday afternoon while struggling to apply to all types of jobs with no luck, I reached a breaking point. Yeah, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I grew up thinking I wasn't going to make it last 18, and now I'm 27 and a constant failure since the pandemic. Over the last while, I researched the charcoal-burning method of suicide and other carbon monoxide-causing deaths. I'm very limited on funds, and trying to put together a shopping list is supplies. Anybody know a painless way to go? I'm a wimp when it comes to pain, and I'd rather my death not be messy and bothersome.