I don't know if i coerced my partner? but my partner reassured me it is not 18F 18M (i really need advice im been overthinking so much)
A bit ago, my girlfriend at the time tells me to initiate things because she is shy and we are relatively new to physical intimacy however I don't know if I am overreacting too much in this situation. She tells me (x) and (y) is stuff she is not comfortable at, but (z) is what she is comfortable with and she said she likes (z). Now to the story, prior to the event happening, she texts me out of nowhere she is not doing (z) and I am like ok. The next day she comes over and we start making out (stuff we agreed prior) and things are escalating. Things are progressively getting heated and in the heat of things,
I propose if she wanted to do (z) since I know thats what she likes, but at the time I was so into the moment, her text wasn't in my head.
She says "Yes i want" to my question
Then, im asking "are you ok"/ "do you want to continue - while offering safe words
By the time everything is done, she said she is ok and liked it.
However, I went home and thought "oh wait did I coerce to her do (z)." so I texted her about it
She replies saying she only texted me that because "she really wanted to do (z), but wanted to control herself"
Im always planning when it comes prior physical things and she always says just let things happen in the moment, but I feel so weird about it.
I really care for her and didn't want to come of as pushy, but most of the time she tells me to initiate things since she is very reserved. She assured me she is ok, but it bothered me so much I went to therapy cuz i felt so guilty and wrong, but i never told her that.
Was what i did coercive? This is causing me to throwup and I really need reassurance or something.
Posted Apr 8, 2025, 9:16 PM UTC