Manifested Memoirs

        For the past 16 years, I have held the conviction that I am God incarnate and that if I didn’t exist, nothing would. I am confident that all things began when I appeared on Earth as a young boy in the late 20th century, and when I die, all things will start again in that way. I think God found it most sensible to start all of existence during relative peace and technological advancement. The God in whom I dwell is an imperfect, single universe—infinite in space, material in makeup, and the source from which all wisdom and things emanate. I believe infinite space enables my life to exist, and vice versa.
        From my perspective, I know my true nature in the same way others know theirs, and the way I know is simple. It is my understanding that being connected to all of existence, as I am, has become self-evident in my being. Wouldn’t you think that if God incarnate existed, he would know? I’m not the kind of person who would think this if it weren’t true, and I’m not on this Earth to deceive anyone, least of all myself. I am confident that if I were an ordinary man, I would accept it and, hopefully, be enlightened enough to acknowledge the being who would hold such power. Deep down, I know I shouldn’t share my innermost feelings, but there's safety in knowing I won’t be taken seriously. So, I suppose I intend to have somebody read this and think, This guy isn’t God incarnate, but somebody out there is. If I accomplish that, then I suppose I’ve fulfilled my purpose.
        The only two possible explanations for my connection to all of existence are a divine one or a physical one. A divine connection could be God as the space and me as the time, or God as the tree and me as the seed. A physical connection with God could involve a specific quantum particle that only interpenetrates my DNA and the rest of existence. I tend to think it’s a divine connection, but I suppose I’ll never know. Regarding quantum particles, I believe they interpenetrate each other in a way that leaves no space truly empty, and I suspect there are interactions between perceived space and nonempty space.
        I suspect God provided the Big Bang and Cosmic Inflation theories—not just for our sake, but as a testament to His introspection—revealed to the world. Both theories make apparent His incomplete understanding of His creation. Thus, His most resolute act of introspection was becoming incarnate, through which He gained deeper insight into His creative process. I believe that without the incarnation, God foresaw that all things would decay, leaving nothing. I respect science and the great things it accomplishes for humanity, and I have enjoyed learning from various scientific fields of study. I’ve even incorporated some scientific ideas into my spiritual philosophy. In cosmology, I don’t blame people for trusting the Big Bang and Cosmic Inflation theories, given the supporting evidence. At the end of the day, I think we all have something we believe in.
        I believe that creating children is the highest accomplishment a person can achieve in their lifetime. I believe in love, forgiveness, and self-defense. I personally oppose abortion, capital punishment, and homosexuality. Prayer is my exercise in gratitude, humility, and love. Regarding suffering in this world, I wish it weren’t so, but in my opinion, that is God’s doing. Unfortunately, without skinned knees, there would likely be no knees at all. Life is a mysterious and magical journey, and may yours be filled with peace and joy along the way.
        Regarding Christianity, I think Christians secretly believe that “Jesus” is alive on Earth and when “He” dies, all of existence will end and begin again with “Him” as a young boy. Not only Christians, but I suspect most people on Earth think God incarnate walks among us but won’t admit it. The Christians’ conviction, that “He” will raise the dead and bring forth a new “Heaven” and Earth speaks for itself, in my view. Hmm, I wonder why people today haven’t elevated an unknown living man to God incarnate status, as it seems to have been popular in the past. If a man has a Messiah complex today, he’s labeled mentally ill, but for some "unknown" reason, Christians don’t see “Jesus” that way. I suppose Christianity is too big to question, and nobody wants to be thought of as deranged for thinking "Jesus" walks the Earth. So, there’s safety for all in pinning it on the man in the book God gave them. I think the irony of 2 Peter 1:16 applies to our time, which states: “For we did not follow cleverly devised stories when we told you about the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ in power, but we were eyewitnesses of His majesty.” Another Bible passage that I find ironic and apparent in the real world is Matthew 16:28, which states: "Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in His kingdom.” The following list includes some things about me that have nothing to do with my self-revelation:

• I was “due” on Christmas Eve but “arrived” just days before.

• My mother, Pauline, was going to name me Jesse but chose James after my grandfather.

• My name is James, which means supplanter.

• My mother purchased a white dove days before my birth.

• My father was James, and his mother was Mary.

• My mother called my father Big Jim and called me Little Jimmy.

• My generation is Generation X.

• My kindergarten class in 1980 had 12 boys, not including myself.

• My mother met a carpenter, and they were together for 10 years. So, I picked up a few things along the way.

• Down the road from my childhood home lived a donkey named Pearl.

• My great-grandfather’s name was Manuel.

• When I was young, I got into trouble with a man named Michael.

• An elderly woman named Esther lived above me in my first apartment.

• The love of my life was named Olive.

• I have a son named Gabriel, and my father has a daughter named Gabriel. Their mothers never met, and they both chose the name Gabriel independently.