How to swallow pride and still strive upward when you’re not given the proper consideration that you deserve?

As the story goes…. I had a lot of imposter syndrome in the beginning of my career, but then got more… validated as I established a proven track record - always bringing more to the table than the initial role ask, even negotiating title changes each time, etc.

I repeatedly proved not only competence and capability, but also just being the clear subject matter expert of my field in each role and workplace I’ve been at. I’ve been very grateful for the career pivots and strategic labor that I’ve put in, but very much paid more than enough dues by now and am ready to cash in on my now collective knowledge and experience.

However, my current workplace, and especially my team, has been through some truly ridiculous things when it comes to hiring and proper management. Effectively, what I thought would be a fast-track towards mutual growth has now made me the main pressure point of the team where I get to keep being the only one who can do everything so ‘has to be the one to do it’, yet they don’t want to promote me towards leadership to effectively train/upskill others and more efficiently drive results, while still hiring ridiculously (I’m talking YouTuber astrologist bestie of our HR hack as director instead level ridiculous) and spending recklessly elsewhere.

I also used the word ‘validated’ earlier but not necessarily confident in a positive or effective way as I still struggled with ‘taking up space’, demonstrating senior leadership traits, or getting due promotion, etc.

A lot of that could be attributed to certain neurodivergencies (anxiety/ADHD) but now that that’s all treated now, I fear that my frustrations have boiled up to more arrogance and clear negativity rather than in the positive, productive leadership direction that I need it to.

I still try to maintain a certain level of personal excellence in my work at current workplace, but have been pretty bold and evidently resentful. What’s worse is that I catch this negative manifestation of arrogance and ‘owed acknowledgment’ bleed into my future prospects and other job interviews…

It’s not that I think that I would ever be truly or complete ‘know-it-all’ and there’s always experts doing it longer, better, with more specializations, so I’m not at lack of awareness or humility at all, just unshakable frustrations at lack of proper evaluation for how much I know for someone at my level of experience… any advice on how to quickly fix my attitude?? 😭😭😓