Living with an “unsafe” parent

I am a 31-year-old woman who was living with her parents, while my dad was suffering from Parkinson’s. He died a couple years ago, and the goal was always to move as soon as possible afterwards, because my relationship with my mother is awful. She was emotionally and physically neglectful in childhood And she was one of those moms that always had constant chaos around her. Unfortunately with the housing crisis as bad as it has been, I haven’t been able to move. Everywhere in my area is extremely expensive and an affordable. Most homes are going for over $1 million and even though I have a decent job and completed my medical program, i cant keep up financially. It leaves me feeling extremely hopeless especially with everything else going on in the world today.

I started packing over a year ago and started with the most important items that I own because my mom has a tendency to break or destroy my belongings and say it was accidental …. I was looking for a book of mine and found that the closet I was keeping all of my items and was completely rearranged and garbage was thrown all over the room. I opened up the bin that had the majority of my important documents and items in it, and found that a lot of it was ruined, the span had wedding photos. Photos of my daughter is a newborn and our wedding photo album in it. Plus all the wedding momentos…. I lost it. I went up to her and told her that that been that she moved had all of my important things in it and she should’ve asked before moving anything she showed no remorse. Didn’t say sorry. Honestly, she acted like she didn’t even care and I’m just left feeling completely Broken

I have spent years dealing with the CPTSD and processing my emotions. Our relationship was getting slightly better although I’m pretty sure she’s a narcissist so that can only go so far but every single time something like this happens I feel even more frustrated because it feels like I’m stuck in a house that I hate Him I am tired of living somewhere where other people have the ability to break and destroy my things… it’s definitely one of the reasons why I’ve always romanticized having my own place because it will be the first time that I feel safe and have control over my surroundings…

I just had to vent. If anyone even read this, thanks for sticking with me until the end.. heres hoping things get better…