Day 6 Weed Free

Today I feel grateful that I am sober today. That I finally have the strength to pull through, and just one more day will be a full week!

It’s 90 degrees and sunny here in Arizona, so I’m going to be utilizing the pool for my workout for the day. I still feel foggy headed, and getting back into my favorite special interests and hobbies with the absence of smoke is definitely not an easy adjustment. The last 2 days felt especially depressing as I couldn’t even get myself to engage myself into Blades (Elder Scrolls Mobile game) while laying in bed feeling like a sick dog. I was already “bored” because I wasn’t stoned. It felt frustrating. But that’s why I made SURE that I was moving at least 15-30 mins a day with some adequate exercise. Slowly but steadily I’m noticing positive changes in my overall mood and I don’t feel so helpless and defeated.

2 Years ago I was evicted from my apartment because I had a psychotic break and couldn’t afford to pay. I lost my promising career, my personality went completely haywire… I was the absolute most terrifying, terrible version of myself. 2 years prior to that I had my first psychosis, and I would have thought that quitting this substance knowing my brain is sensitive and prone to psychosis that I would’ve stopped. I should’ve stopped then and there. And this is why I have to NOW because if I don’t, this year will be around the time for a 3rd to happen if I do not stop my habits.

Writing this is a reminder to myself of where I was, where I am now, and why I absolutely cannot go back.

I got this.

Francis out.