Why is Islam on the internet so harsh

The beliefs I have seen from people on the net differ from the beliefs my family has practiced and taught me. It seems people online forget that Allah is merciful and all powerful. I am not talking about «those» podcast bros although yes they are a part of the problem. Oftentimes when I see Muslims online—or anyone talking about Islam, they always hyper focus on restriction and strictness, when most haram things are haram for they cause mental and physical harm to us. This group likes to claim halal things as haram (ie music). My family are not really progressive per say, but they are not regressive either. They take things fairly and with logic. Never does this group talk about the mercy of Allah or his love for his people.

Now I must ask myself, why. Why would somebody do this to themselves unless they have been unfortunate enough to be born into an extremist family. Why are these people so widespread and why do they seem to be so vocal. I do not deny that extremism and regressive thinking exists outside of the Internet. I am aware of the events happening in Iran and even my home country, but you would thing that you would see more open minded people on the huge internet, no?

What inspired me to think about this is different from what I have mentioned above, but I still do believe it is representative of this. My dear father unfortunately passed away 5 days ago. My mother has been telling me to talk to him, for he can still hear and feel me but cannot respond to me. I have decided to read more about this and learn. I was met with people outright denying this. I will admit that both sides have solid proof, but nobody can really be sure of Allah’s doing. Some people have went as far as saying that it is shirk. There is a lot of neya assuming and it is terrible.