How do I prepare for getting my Mum’s ashes back?

I struggle to sleep at night already after my Mum’s passing but I know within the next week we are likely to get her ashes back and honestly it terrifies me. I remember our family dog dying when I was a kid and I was terrified of his ashes for years until we eventually scattered them. I couldn’t go in the room where his ashes were. I’m worried I will be the same for Mum, because it will make this even more real. I wanted to get a tattoo with her ashes, however I was told this was quite complicated so I just got a regular memorial tattoo. I know I can get jewellery made but what else can I do with her ashes as I don’t want to scatter them, and just ashes feel cryptic to me. I want her to be with me forever in some physical way, so what else could I do. I just feel so guilty and sad.