Thinking about drop.

I was regular school JEE aspirant. Scored very low in January attempt (42%ile) and gave April Attempt, thought my condition will improve but after checking answer of questions, I am probably get the same %ile or 1-8ile more. I will still be eligible for Advanced due to PwD reservation but I don't have hopes for scoring bare minimum for IITs after this. I want to take drop because I know regular school made my preparation worse and I was telling my parents about it very early. They neither got convinced for dummy school or giving me chance for drop.

My cousin who studied in regular school and took drop and cracked IIT, now is in abroad. He told his brother who couldn't crack JEE to not take drop and he did btech from pvt college. Now he is earning more than him.

So, my relatives told my parents and me. Now, my parents are more stubborn about it. Now my parents say do from any college because I have better opportunities for Job in future. So, I shouldn't waste my time in this. They are somewhat correct.

I will have very low chances get my interested branch (CSE or any specialisation) in good govt colleges.

Now Advanced is the only gateway to unlock more opportunities. But I won't self doubt myself because it also ruined my mains.I will do whatever I can.

I have not registered any other engineering exams yet. Now bitsat and MET phase 2 all is I have. I have yet to register them.

I will focus more on Advanced since I have more chance to get in IIT then getting CSE in Bits.

To be honest, I am probably wasting my time now if I had to drop at end anyway. It is just my parents are not letting me.

I don't think drop will do any harm for me except entering college 1 year late. I won't feel left out since I am disconnected from outside from very beginning and I have no friends even tho I connect with my classmates rarely and I am used to this and I don't feel any exhaustion or anything, I am becoming too much self centered. Even, in drop year I won't feel repeating the same thing since I couldn't study properly for JEE due to regular school.

My parents are okay to take partial drop. I think If I got selected, even then I will waste 1 year anyway and I don't think I will be cope up. My JEE with regular school was hell and It will be another hell for me in college. I know myself know after JEE. I am bad at multitasking. I will probably need to one thing at one time only.

I probably wasted my parent's money in online coaching. Although, they don't complain about this to me. So, I am hesitant to make my parents invest more in my JEE prep but It might be worth it, better than wasting my 4 years in a high fees pvt college with no exposure. Also, looking at current situation, I will probably waste my 4 years with no outcome. If I take anything beside Computer Science related branches in government college. I will probably waste my 4 years struggling in college with branch I don't like.

In conclusion, I will give advanced. If I am not satisfied with my outcome. Then, I will beg for drop.