Safest way to cut her off? We had a trip planned.

I was supposed to go on a trip with her in a day or two. Tickets bought already, and the way she’s been threatening “forget about the trip!” shows me she really can’t fathom the idea that I’d bail.

But the thought of spending two weeks with her scares me more than it excites me.

I’ve been spending some time alone and realizing that I don’t even like her. I don’t like her personality (absence, really), I don’t like the blatant abuse, I don’t even really like sex with her or find her to be attractive.

I’ve been working towards my goals and realizing how inconsequential, nah, detrimental she is to my happiness.

It’s starting to feel like I’ve only stayed because she’s made me feel worthless enough to.

And reading old journals and seeing myself almost get out of this before only to see the abrupt change in tone when I let her back in makes me sad

I’m scared that if I go ahead with this I’ll just get sucked in again. Scared enough that I’m willing to throw away the money I already spent and flights and hotels.

My concern now is just how to go about this. It’s not about revenge/emotion, I don’t want a confrontation where she’ll suck me back in through argument.

The idea of telling her without an excuse itself just sounds fruitless and gives too much an opportunity to upset her to the point she tries to create problems with my job/life.

I’m thinking of just lying about a family emergency or car breaking down and telling her to go on her own, then going no contact because she’ll be on the vacation and less likely to notice

Any advice?