Everything is going bad…I need support

Hello!

Usually I stay away from posting stuff here because I’ve noticed how little empathy some people can have, but I really need some support and there is literally no one else where I can go.

For a little bit of background…last year on March 28th I started my weight loss journey. When I started I was in a very good place mentally…freshly out of a very toxic friendship, admitted to one of the best universities, ready to move abroad and making a lot of friends. I did a very healthy diet til the end on June and I got to 72KG from 84KG. I was so so happy…finally feeling comfortable in my body.

As I mentioned, in August, I moved to another country to study. Little did I know that I would hit a mental state so low that would trigger my binge eating habits like crazy. I have a huge problem with binge eating. For me it’s either that or complete starvation when I am down.

Today, I went up on the scale…90KG. Clothes are not fitting me anymore. I haven’t been this big since 2020. I feel nauseous. I’ve been trying to repeat what I did last year…I mean I’ve done it before it shouldn’t be that hard. The problem is that now the circumstances are quite different. Last year I was at home, not going out, not cooking my food, not paying for my food. Just isolating myself from every possibility of me eating something bad.

This time…I live alone in a foreign country where everything is so expensive. Buying healthy food (besides veggies) is so expensive. I also barely have time to cook since my university is so demanding. Additionally, now I’m meeting people daily. They usually wanna drink, cook and eat.

Easter is also very soon. My family is waiting home for me with a lot of food.

I can not deal with this anymore. I need to make a change. I hate that food has so much power over me but it is genuinely the only thing that makes me a bit less miserable about my life.

I wish I could live at some point without worrying about food all the time. I don’t know if I should fast, maybe omad, maybe just a calorie deficit? another type of diet. Due to a medical issue, I can barely exercise.