I need to help myself.

I'm 19M. All my life, I've been faced with fake friends or 'friends' who don't bother to reach out. Many people forgot about me or don't include me despite being a normal person. I don't try to indulge myself if I'm excluded, but I shamelessly reach out to people or even get myself into deeper conversations with them even though I know that they don't really reciprocate or care about my opinions.

I try to isolate myself every other week, but after that, I fail. I want to keep interaction to a bare minimum with everyone. I do not care about my social life from now on. This is not the end of the road but I don't want to associate with anyone for a while. Every new acquaintance or friend tend to drift away.

I feel like I've been used to the core. People reach out only for materialistic things and money. I've stopped helping them.

I've lost a lot of good and close friends due to this. I don't want to blame anyone. I just want to be left alone and I want to learn how to shut the fuck up.

I feel like even if the closest of my friends find this, they will think that I'm an attention seeking whore, which I couldn't be much bothered about, but it ruins my image in front of the public's eyes.