What did I do to deserve this karma

Had to rewrite everything because I changed windows what a joke

A couple months ago I was homeless because my mom didn't want me anymore so I had to stay at a shelter. I was crying alot at night because I missed my brother's so I turned to meth to help me feel better. Stupid I know and I lost so much common sense even forgot how to breathe properly I was always breathing in through my nose hard because I forgot how to breathe normally. If I heard people banging on a table I would have a panic attack or if i heard people being pessimistic about the future or say something stupid like the devil is coming I would actually believe and think this is what God wants for me everything In life has lead to this so I must accept it. Lost so much weight because of fear of choking and burned my throat. One night in the shelter a guy calls me over asking why was I spreading rumors about him. I barley talked to this guy so it was strange to me but I think this was his excuse to call me over because earlier I stared at him briefly because he hit someone. He grabs my hair so I grab his wrist and boom we started fighting. I land a couple hits on him and he kicks my stomache but a girl comes from behind and pulls my pants down telling me to take off my clothes. The guy also starts screaming after I landed a hit on his chest so his friend comes and starts asking him if I really did that. The girl leaves with my sandles and throws them but I try explaining myself to the guy but he didn't wanna listen. I leave the living room in the shelter and I try to compose myself after what happened cuz if I was outside idk what the girl would've done for real. My immigrant friend tries explaining to him what happened to me and now he wants to listen this time. He's like oooh they tried to touch you without your consent! But I knew he was faking it and was planning to do something later I just knew this guy had dozens of knives laying around In his room and was stealing everyone's food. So I thought I might aswell go out fighting. The guy I fought earlier comes in the dinner room where I'm at I swing at him hitting his jaw. Since im weaker than usual he gets back up and grabs my hair and drags me up the stairs and starts striking my neck saying he's gonna kill me. I block the back of my neck and starting his jaw and broke my hand. I then grab his neck and slows him down a bit but if I was outside I doubt I would be alive rn. The staff comes in a breaks the fight up but he gets away from them and wants to keep fighting. Idc anymore so i walk towards him again but my roommate stands infront of me and tells me to stop, I hug him and cry. The police come banging and asking questions but after we're done the guy said he has something for me when I'm sleeping. The police obviously put handcuffs on him and take him away for tonight but it's things like this that are too convenient in my life. He was obviously planning to kill me and if the police weren't there I would probably die. I remember looking down on him when he said that barking like a dog telling me to come down if I wasn't scared. He told the police he was bold and I've asked around since then and no one has seen him around. I was kicked out for fighting and I was forced to sleep in the main office where people sign up to the shelter. For some strange reason I was put next to this girl who kept laughing. She offered me food and told me some jokes and I forgot all about my pain. We went outside to buy some food and she talked about how she's lonely with her family so she comes to the shelter. I go to sleep and another convenient thing happens the guy who was one of the first people I met in the shelter shows up today out of any other day. He told me I got too skinny and that I can text whenever I want to. He was one of the first people i met and the last person I said goodbye to. This felt too put together like someone up in the sky is putting a play together to teach me something I know it's sound like bullshit but it's true. I go back home to my family because ik there's threats in this area for me now and the first I see when I knock is my youngest brother I instantly hug him. Everyone ofc tells me I got too skinny but I go to my dad's house. I still struggled alot with breathing, eating, and common sense but I slowly worked my way back into it. I learned how to install water filters for my grandma and I work with her selling products. But just when everything seems to be fine just when everything seems to be relaxing for me, I have symptoms of acid reflux and I can't eat food normally now. My mouth dries up too and it's easy for me to choke and I did a couple mins ago I felt the airway blocked and I could've died and all of it everything wouldn't matter anymore. Just gone out the window dying because I choked that's so pathetic. I just wanted to say I want my body to be healed and I don't care what anyone says I have faith it can be happen and I will be normal again. There's alot more I didn't say but I'll just leave it here.