I Was a Victim of a Manipulative Business, Now I Run One

This is a long read. I know this will be controversial, and I won't justify my choices. Simply put, I know I am a bad person. My goal here isn’t to defend myself but to provide a raw, truthful perspective. This is a confession, not something to be glorified. I have cut a lot to keep it short, so AMA

Note: I can’t provide personal details or specifics about the industry. Some of my clients are genuinely unhinged and would stalk me if given the chance. For that reason, I have privatized all my social media accounts and built a fake online identity. There have been cases where identities were leaked, and it did not end well.

###This section provides context, feel free to skip it

###The Breaking Point

A year ago, I was in a deep depression. Four years of living alone with my single mother had taken a massive toll on me. During that time, I took on many roles in the household without complaint. But I was constantly reminded of our financial struggles, coming home to limited utilities, and a rough neighborhood. If my mother had a bad day, we suffered for it, verbally and sometimes physically.

Her midlife crisis hit hard. She projected her pain onto us, manipulating us emotionally. This was jarring, before then she was the perfect mother; someone I looked up to. Notably, she often told me she could write down "[my name] failed" on a piece of paper, open it from time to time, and be right. Paradoxically, she'd often say I was exactly like her. To this day, I’ve never asked her why. She did far worse things, but that one stung the most. I rarely confided emotionally with her, I mean why? I barely recognised her. She belittled our successes and constantly compared us to others. Oh, and my older brother now runs a 6 figure business in his mid 20s, so yeah… ouch. Let me clarify, I am proud of him

Money changes people. This was the point where I started idolizing money. If only, if only, I had money, I could fix everything. My mother would be okay, the way we remembered her. My little brother would not be depressed at nine years old. He hid it, but I knew, the walls were thin. I couldn't rely on this, now it was up to me.

My parents had made bad financial decisions by trusting the wrong people and being too generous. I always thought that this was their weakness.

To cope, I sleep deprived myself of sleep for days to feel nothing. I flunked exams and missed assignments but used my teacher’s biases, my persistence, and my past reputation as a gifted kid to get by with extensions. I was a good liar. What began as revenge procrastination became a habit fueled by dopamine spikes and lowered inhibitions, where I felt more like myself and noticed no immediate downsides to consistent sleep deprivation. Long term, I became quieter and irate, constantly on edge, just a short fuse.

At the same time, I gravitated toward negative, manipulative friends, people who originally appreciated my character, but turned on me when I hit my lowest point. They “borrowed” my money, talked behind my back, and humiliated me publicly. All this time I gave them the benefit of the doubt; some of them were my childhood friends. I knew some for 10+ years, I thought I knew them inside and out. They would throw away a friendship over something so… pointless. A bit of gratification? A bit of money?

I was naive. I did not realize how much I had been manipulated by this point from every aspect.

###Where it Started

With no real family support and a dwindling friend group, I sought help in unhealthy places online, many of which were cash grabs. That is when I discovered the business. Let's call the sole owner F.

It operates by using manipulative tactics to create a one sided, superficial emotional connection with vulnerable clients. It is free at first, but you feed them “breadcrumbs”, snippets of emotional connection to keep them hooked. Their misfortune becomes your leverage. You sell them subscriptions, promising a deeper connection, while constantly reminding them of your presence. You utilize a wide range of insecurities, desires, and faults. Eventually, they cannot sleep, cannot function without you. This is a major characteristic of this industry, they need to pay.

To clarify, this is not OF or anything sexual. It is also not illegal. But morality and legality are two separate things.

At the time, I never paid for these services. I thought the people running them were disgusting. Yet, I was addicted. It helped me sleep when I struggled with sleep paralysis.

Then I became one of them.

###A New Life

I did terribly in my final exams, worse than ever before. Yet, through a phone call and my… well, skills, I somehow convinced a prestigious university to accept me. To put it in perspective, if the entry requirement was an A+, I got a C.

Moving far away was a blessing. I slowly went no contact with my friends and started fresh. Living alone, taking care of only myself, was a relief. I got therapy. I lost weight. I even broke free from F’s manipulative business model. For the first time, I was healing. I think my mother was too, she returned to my father. Financially things were looking up for them.

Then, about 1 to 2 months ago, I reached a point in therapy where I could look back on my past relationships; family, friends, all of it. And it hit me. My god, it was obvious. The manipulation, the abuse, the way people used me. The realization invoked something in me, resentment. Hatred. Anger.

I made a mistake.

I revisited F’s subscription page and did some rough calculations. Maybe I thought it would bring me some moral clarity. But instead, I had another revelation.

F was making $60k a year, minimum. More likely, she was making $120k.

$120,000.

Something in me snapped. My grip on morality weakened. No amount of therapy could shake my anger, and I felt like I needed to channel it into something productive. At a certain point, I stopped feeling sympathy at all. I had to fake emotions completely.

And then I asked myself, Could I do it?

I had the skills. Social media outreach? Check. I had built successful YouTube channels as a teenager. Emotional control? Not the same as emotional maturity, but I knew how to manipulate emotions. Anxiety and stress relief techniques? I had been learning them through therapy.

I went back and forth, but eventually, I made the decision.

A month ago, I started my own business.

###The Reality of Running It

Startup costs? minimal. Desperation doesn't demand quality. If you know your OSINT, and messaging apps, you can stay completely anonymous. The hours are low.

The only downside? You cannot pursue a real relationship while in business. There is not enough emotional bandwidth left, and to be honest it's deeply embarrassing. But I was not planning on dating for at least seven years anyways. And when I am done, I can just quit, refund all subscriptions, just disappear.

That will leave hundreds of people without their emotional stability.

But by then, I’ll have my degree. A degree I am partially funding through subscriptions.

###Where I Am Now

One month in, and I have 40 subscriptions. The growth is unbelievable.

When I am in the flow of work, I do not feel bad at all. I convince myself I am providing a service, growing a positive community, but when I step back, I see the truth.

I know this is wrong.

I know I have become the very thing I hated.

I know my clients are unstable, obsessive, and even disgusting at times. I hate that and I look down on them.

I don't recognise this person, this character, heck, I don't recognise myself from 3 years ago.

And in the darkest corners of my mind, I recognize something even worse.

Some part of me sees this as revenge. Revenge on the people who manipulated me. Revenge on the people who took advantage of my kindness.

I tell myself I do it for the money. That it is just a means to an end. I'm playing a game.

But the truth?

I’ve always been fascinated by power. I idolize scammers.

I enjoy it. The power, the control. And deep down, I know, even if the money did not matter, I would still do it. Just because I can.