If this sounds dumb let me know and i will delete it

hello :] i live in a care facility for youth, was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD last year, and i'm currently starting the process of an autism screening, and last therapy session my therapist was evaluating me for psychosis, when my answers got me into more researching.

i prefer being alone, i'm paranoid and delusional, even my own mother has trouble following my speech because my speech is disorganized in my native language. yesterday, a car parked close to a spot i walk to daily at 13.45 and 17-18pm, and i was immediately convinced it was there for me. i have had multiple fits of panic on separate times because i convinced myself the shadow formed by my closet was a hallucination. i'm never alone even when i physically am, i talk to myself while on walks and only notice when someone shoots me a weirded look. i can't even play calming games without worrying that somehow the developers decided to specifically target me and plant a jumpscare somewhere near. even when i was younger, i couldn't look at my reflection in my window because of fear that it would warp, i slept completely under my blanket with the ceiling light on, and i had all of my plushies neatly arranged to cover me so that i wouldn't be as noticeable at first glance.

i have great friends, but i think it's just because i somehow got lucky. i don't talk to them unless they talk to me first, i haven't seen most in months nor have i tried to, and they still seem to care about me the same, which i believe less and less. i don't feel much of anything, if i do, i forget what it felt like soon after. any budding relationships (or even the one that lasted a year) end in me realizing that i'm incredibly uncomfortable with the closeness and expectation of a relationship. i don't really get that much social anxiety anymore, or at least i don't notice it, but the whole reason i'm even in a facility is because a few years ago i would get panic attacks at the thought of going to school, and i ended up not going for 3 years before finally being put into care, simply because i felt everyone including the walls of that place were looking at me and knew everything embarassing i had ever done.

i have never felt such a sense of community until i read more and more about schizotypal personality disorder, should i bring it up with my therapist if the autism route goes out of the equation? sorry for my english and also rambling and also if i'm intruding.