internalised homophobia?

Hey :) sorry if the title comes off abit strong, but I’m just kind of at an end.

I realised I was into girls when I was 12 and, become super anxious daily over everything. Like it turned into a mad spiral of ocd which I couldn’t control or handle. I think it’s made me feel gross about the idea I only like girls, and I feel ashamed admitting it.

I don’t mean to put others down with this post, but I feel so fucking horrible all the time, and so hesitant to say that I’m a lesbian out loud. If people ask, I just nod or say yes. It’s taken me so long to admit it, and I don’t know why. It’s so easy for some people, but maybe I just unlucky.

It’s not like my parents are homophobic or anything either, so I’m seriously so unsure why I was so scared to admit it. I accept it now, but I’m not proud iygwim? I’d rather not be this way. (Sorry if this upsets anybody :/)

But yea.. not sure what to do aha. I’m 16, 17 soon, so im sure i know what I am by now lmao.