My online gaming friend committed suicide

I guess I just want to get my thoughts out of my head before I drive myself insane. I found out that one of my closest ‘online gaming friends’ committed suicide (don’t want to give specific details prefer being completely anonymous on dates etc). I just cannot believe it, I’ve never experienced something like this before, especially since our relationship was a little complicated. Call it an unintentional situationship I suppose? I knew he liked me, he made it very obvious - we were always flirty etc and other things I’m not really going to get into. Bottom line, we were always just friends (although we didn’t really act like it), he’d tell me that he would always be my friend first before anything else. He was so sweet and lovely, so much more than the title of this post. I’ve never posted on here, but I can’t really talk to anyone about this and I’m just so sad for him. Our gaming group didn’t know close we really were (we actively chose keep our little thing private) so it’s hard to explain my feelings fully. The last thing me told me was that he missed me and that he had been working a lot, I replied but a week had gone by and he didn’t reply. It doesn’t feel real. I keep rereading our messages, listening to his voice notes and watching our gaming clips to hear his voice again. I haven’t encountered much death in life and like this either.