SH (opinion needed)

I need an actual fucking opinion, I'll get straight to it.

Well my friend this week wanted to spend time outside school so we did, she got sick the next day and came back today. She was distant but still whit me and she was more clinging on her other friend. And I get it she has other friends, but i feel always so hurt when she does that. I’ve felt that all the time when being friends whit her for years. I feel so alone when she does that I don’t know how she can do it but she makes me want to cut myself afterwards because I feel left out and like a dumb whore. I do already cut ofcourse but she makes the urge bigger, and I can't stop and I am so close to committing suicide at this point. So what do I do? I don't want to talk to her, and how does she do that? I want to kill myself over it, please help me.