I Love him so much Help

I’m (18f) in this complicated situation, never had sex with him (52m) or touched him. Only made out for like three hours straight in my hotel room when we were on a “seminar” we both do classical music and conducting so we were on a course where he was a mentor and i went as a student (mind u there are all ages of students there, I was the youngest) and he wasn’t my teacher at that seminar anyway. We didn’t go further because we knew it’s not okay since he is married. He has been open with me about his wife and that they are going to get a divorce. My mom find out i had talked to him and he took me to see the sunset when he was in town (nothing sexual happened at all, it was before we knew each others feelings). Then my mos said she will call the police on him and that he has moelsted me which is not true.. Now I don’t have contact with him, i’m not allowed. My mother is manipulating me. Last time I talked with him in desember he told me he can’t really talk because his wife has an eye on him and that he has told her everything about that we made out and that he loves me. He is in the process of getting a divorce.

before criticizing please ask questions it a way too complicated story to just write all up. But I really love him and i’m dying when I don’t talk to him. which i can’t while i’m still living at home, my parents don’t approve of this at ALL, which i fully understand and I am annoyed at myself. Me and him could talk about anything and the fact that he never promised me or said “wait for me” or “i hate my wife” or “don’t tell this to anybody” he is just clean. Altough yes he is a cheater … which is fucking awful but again it’s more complicated than what’s written here. I don’t fall hard or often. But this time I just love him i can’t help it, and i’ve liked him for way too long (im young yes.. don’t do the math) He has NEVER touched me. Only my waist, the way he’s so respectful is crazy. Aw man i’m just sad I can’t talk to him. Any opinions or positive feedback i need someone to cheer me up… No matter how stupid that sounds. Sorry if english is bad, im spanish:)