Sometimes It Takes Balls to Be a Woman

It had been a long hard day, or should I say, night?

I had a full ride for college, but in the summer I was on my own and to pay my rent I got a gig working construction. Luckily, for our first year out of the dorms, we had found a place owned by this sweet old lady who must've thought it was still the 90s with the rent she asked for. However, when we asked to renew the lease, we found out that she was handing the property over to her daughter who later emailed us saying that she was going to be charging the market rate. "Non-negotiable", she said. I'd have to start working the night shift just to break even until school started, but I figured that it was fair - rent wasn't getting any cheaper around here.

But we're getting a bit off-track, so let's get back to that night. I had made a habit of heading to Chick-fil-A for breakfast the morning after, we got coupons through work, and so it was the one thing I could treat myself to without breaking the bank. And so, I hopped in my old pick-up, popped in my Willie Nelson CD, and drove over. And guess what I saw? Nothing. Lights off, doors locked - was I early? Nope, it was 6:30am. "Oh my god, I'm an idiot", I said, slamming my fist sideways into the door - Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays.

Now it may sound like an overreaction, but hear me out. I was tired, I was starved, and this was all I had to look forward to - a five buck coupon meal. It felt insulting. Defeated, I just decided to go home rather than find something else to eat, but I figured that I'd take a detour down some country roads to cool down. I pressed play on the stereo, and pulled out of the lot.

🎵"Workin' on the railroad"🎶

🎵"Sleepin' on the ground"🎶

🎵"Eatin' saltine crackers"🎶

🎵"Ten cents a..." and then I saw it. That neon yellow sign. That emboldened black lettering.

!W A F F L E!<
!H O U S E!<

I hadn't been there since I was in high school! But I pulled right in, and it wasn't for nostalgia. Cheap prices, big portions, and best of all, they're open 24/7! I practically pranced out of my car, and walked down to the door with just a five dollar bill in my pocket and the clothes on my back - but I was gonna eat like a king!

I walked up the stoop and pushed the handle on the door, the bell chiming as I walked in. A woman's voice came from the back, "take a seat, I'll be right with you!". I replied back, "sure, no problem!" as I walked right up to the counter, hopping up on the first stool. Meanwhile, I couldn't help but notice how spick and span the place was. It was your usual Waffle House interior, a homely American diner, but they do have a reputation for being a bit ratty - this was one was different.

It had been a minute, so I looked to the doorway behind the counter, wondering where the waitress was just when I saw a tray of eggs peek out. Curious, I leaned over to check... "Oh!" she yelped, the tray slipped out of her hands, and I quickly swung around the side of the counter, grabbing it out of the air as I landed hard on my shoulder... "auhhh!". Thankfully, the tray was still intact in my hands, held up in the air.

"Oh my god, you okay honey?", I look up to see a redhead, maybe in her late 30s, kneeling over me, bent down, with her hands on her knees, a frown on her face. She had her hair tightly knotted in a bun and a black apron tightly tied around her waist. Her bust, made an impression despite the layers, looming over me.

"I'm, I'm okay" I muttered, sitting up as she took the tray out of my hands, quickly setting it behind the counter. "I'm so sorry, you startled me sweetie" she said apologetically as she turned back to offer me a hand up. I noticed a coy smile on her face, - she couldn't help but find my landing a bit amusing. Dazed, I didn't reply - taking her hand and pushing myself off the floor. Suddenly, I found myself standing a head over her.

"Woah, where'd you go?", I said in jest as I turned my head side to side - she must've been 5'2'' or 5'3''. Thwack, "Oww!", I pulled my waist back, looking down to see her pull the heel of her palm back from my crotch, as my hands went right to it instead. "Hey!" I protested, as I looked back up at her.

"You see me now, 'big guy'?", she said with a smirk, her hands on her hips as I looked back down. "I do miss" I responded, surprised by how playful she was - her eyes actually seemed a bit weary, carrying some crow's feet.

She continued, "well, you're lucky you saved those eggs from cracking earlier or instead of a little tap I would've had to...", she chuckled, shooting a glance down and then looking back up to my eyes. Her face melted into a warm smile as she saw me chuckle, and she gestured for me to take a seat, turning around herself to go back around the counter, beginning to rummage through a drawer on the opposite side.

I should've averted my eyes, lest she catch me and really take offense, but I couldn't help but notice how tight those jeans were on her - and they weren't tapered skinny. I was dumbfounded, was I really crushing on someone who was 40?

I felt a tingling down under, was that still the sack tap or...? I shook my head - what am I thinking - she's probably married. She turned my way, finding whatever she was looking for, "welllll, I'm Julia and I'll be your server", she paused, "and your cook today!", handing me a menu and putting her hands flat on the counter.

I didn't take my eyes off her, "Oh, are you short staffed?"

She sighed, turning her head down, "that's an understatement. I'm actually the owner, well..." she hesitated.

"What?", I pressed.

"My husband, well ex-husband technically owns half, but he ran away to do who knows what, and well abandoned the place too. Business is tough, we're barely breaking even lately and every cent counts. Especially since he also used to work a bit on the side. But I'm not going to disrespect myself chasing after him, I hold down the fort down myself from sunrise to sundown until the nightshift comes in. Standing on my own two feet. And well, with Aubrey too, she comes in part-time on the weekends. I think she goes to your college too, as a matter of fact" she said, gesturing at the logo on my shirt.

"Oh, that's nice, I'm actually working construction this summer."

"You kids are pretty hardworking. You must have to be, everything is more expensive nowadays."

We looked each other in the eye.

She suddenly stood up straight, "well you're sweet for engaging me in conversation honey, now what would you like? I'm keeping you hungry."

That jolted me back up too, what was I doing? I needed to eat up and go back home to get some rest before work. I looked down to the menu and then realized that I had five bucks and not even any change... not much thinking to do. A two egg breakfast was about 3 dollars, I was sure of that.

"Oh I don't even need the menu", I said, handing it back to her with a grin. "I used to go to Waffle House every week back in the day. Let me get a 'two egg breakfast'."

"How do you want them?"

"Umm... scrambled? Egg whites only please."

"Sure, baby. And do you want biscuits or toast with that?"

"Toast would be perfect. Extra crispy"

"Great. And you'd get your jelly with that as well, of course." She looked up from her notepad, "and anything to drink?" Shooting me a foxy smile, "I'll give you half-off on one."

"How about I ask for that menu again and decide?"

"Sure, I'll get started on your eggs in the meantime", she answered, turning around and leaning back to fetch a menu. "But I thought you didn't need one?" she joked.

"Well I'm not as firm as you are, miss." I joked, looking at her from behind.

Gasp. She spun around on her toes, "well you're a forward young man, aren't you?" She handed me the menu and as I smiled and looked down at it, she gave a little bonk to my forehead, turning around "well, now let me get cooking."

"Thanks!"

"Sure. It's a bit quiet in here though, I'm gonna turn on the radio. Let me know about the drink."

crrrrrrrcrcrrcrrrrrrrcrcrr

🎵"...a socialite, a decent housewife"🎶 "Oooh, Elizabeth Cook." ping! pong!

🎵"And she makes a mean lasagna"🎶 clop clop clop clop

🎵"So when the mechanic, said Lady don't panic"🎶 I'm looking at the drinks and suddenly I notice something on the menu.

🎵"But this one's gonna cost ya'"🎶 thwack thwack thwack thwack

🎵"She said I know I don't need my engine rebuilt"🎶 I think to myself: the two egg breakfast is 3.50, that's alright, inflation. But apparently there's an egg shortage going on, so there's a 50 cent surcharge per egg.

🎵"Now just check the oil and change the belt"🎶 pow! pow!

🎵"Honey, I know you thought you saw me coming'"🎶 Okay, that's 4.50 then. That's close. Well, thank god, that could've been embarrassing. And hey the coffee's one dollar, but I can get for half off... so it'll add up to 5.00. That's perfect. Oh, but what about a tip? Ehh, there's nothing I can do. What'll she do about it?

🎵"Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman"🎶

"Julie, can I get a coffee, black? And here's the menu."

"Sure thing, hon."

clack, she slides over a plate, "here's your two egg breakfast."

clink, and a mug, "and here's your coffee! Enjoy!"

"Aww, thanks. It all looks great. "

"Of course it does", she says with a wink - "I made it." I smile. "I'm going to go prep in the back until the breakfast rush comes in, let me know if you need anything."

"Mmmmphhh", I acknowledge in the middle of a bite. But my eyes aren't on my food, cause as she reaches back to untie her apron, looking away, her chest expands outward, pressing against her shirt. I'm feeling that tingling again. She looks down and gives me a smile, and then walks into the back. She might as well have played footsie with me.

I finish up my meal and begin to daydream a bit. Julia is, beautiful. And smart. And feisty. And mature.

"Hey, how was it?"

"Oh", I turn my head, "perfect. Could I get the check?"

She nods and heads to the register to print it out. tzzzztzzzztzzzz

"Here you are!", she says as she hands me the cover with the bill. She walks away, I think into the back again, to leave me to it. I look back down and open up the cover - 5.10. What? I re-read it. I re-read it again. 2% sales tax? "Oh my god, I'm an idiot." I felt like a fool - I didn't want to apologize to a woman for ten cents. I whisper to myself, "she's in the back, isn't she?".

swish I spin myself off the stool, and make a run for the exit. Step by step, looking back to see if she's behind me.

Thwack! I jerk my head forward. But this time, I don't see her palm in my crotch - I feel it. A flat, tight, measured strike. What I see though, are her sky blue eyes, no longer weary, but fierce. Thud, "aaagh", I exclaim. But this time, I don't protest.

"You did not just try to leave without paying." I look up to see the redhead, Julia, kneeling over me, bent down, with her hands holding down my knees, a scowl on her face. She had her hair open and a blue collared shirt. Her bust, it made a stronger impression, but I was still looking into her eyes.

"Wait, wait, I can explain", I pleaded. Her feet her grip and leaned further onto me, perched on me like a cat on a ledge, her knee now resting on the fabric of my crotch, "no you stole, you brat, you better pray I don't call th..." I interrupt, "just look at the bill! please, let me explain."

"Get up", she ordered. I tried to take a breath, my eyes closed, and without thinking, I asked "can you give me a hand?" I grimaced, feeling a weight resting on my jewels. "I can give you a foot." I gulped, shuffled back a bit, and pushed myself back up.

I walked back to the counter, Julie coming and standing by my shoulder, peering over. "So, what is it?"

"Julie, I..." "Don't call me by my name."

"Ok, uhmm, ma'am. So, I thought that the 2 egg breakfast was just three dollars, and I knew I had just five a-"

"-nd you didn't see the prices on the menu?"

"No, remember I just ordered from memory. I only asked for the menu, to check for a drink - when you had already started too cook. And even then, with the breakfast being 3.50 and the surcharges for 0.50 an egg, and with the coffee half off, it was just 5. I just forgot about the tax, that's all, just ten cents".

"No, it wasn't just ten cents. You were a coward, and you tried to run."

"No, no, that's not it, I just..."

"You just what, you thought you could take advantage of me? And didn't you order that coffee after you saw the menu? What are you even majoring in?"

"Finance", I pause, and she tilts her head gesturing for me to finish..."and accounting." She was speechless, she turned and leaned against the wall next to the doorway, resting her face in her hand to think.

"Look, I'm sorry, I, I, can I just give you the five dollars. Or or...", she turned and took a step towards me to face me, I continued..."I could work for a bit, I'm a poor college student..." She took another step and raised a finger to my lips and a hand on my thigh.

"No. I told you that every cent counted to me. You had the balls to not even check the prices when you had just five dollars in your pocket. And then you had the balls to try to steal from me. And you're right. You're a poor college kid and I shouldn't take your money. In fact, these are emotional damages." Her hand creeped up my leg, and I started to get hard. She leaned further onto me, and slid her hand into my pants, making a gentle but firm grip around the top of my scrotum with her thumb and index finger - my shaft resting on top. I looked into her blue eyes and she gave me a wry smile, pushing me, leading me, back up onto my stool.

"So you know how you're gonna pay for your two egg breakfast?" I grimaced as her other fingers closed in on my jewels.

"With these...!" I gasped as she squeezed.

"two...!" I squirmed as she squeezed harder.

She squealed: "EGGS!", as she took her finger off my lips, and palmed my balls - THWACK!

I grunted hard and fell back onto the stool as she let go, my back against the counter.

She then jumped onto my lap, putting her legs around my waist. My chin rested on her tits, and she looked into my eyes - "Now, ask me how."

I mustered it up... "how?"

"We're gonna recreate your order, sugar!"

"Sugar tits", I mumbled. She tried to palm me... THWACK, my hard-on slapped into my balls.

"Well that got in the way, she said. But I'll deal with that later. First, let's make scrambled eggs!"

She got off my lap. Pushed and slid me a bit down against the counter on the stool. and then hopped on lap, this time facing outwards. I felt my balls rest against cold metal, they hung against the stool.

"Do you know what the first term to making scrambled eggs is? Cracking them open against the counter!"

She swung her hand up and down onto the side my balls, a one sided clap against the edge of the stool - a PING against the metal. "That's one!"

I put my hands around her and rested each on a tit, and let my head hang back, anticipating the next blow. She turned her head around, smiled, and without turning back.

PONG! I groaned and learned further back.

Without getting off, she rode herself up a bit further above my waist, and reached for a whisk off the counter. Then, she pushed us further down the stool, her still on top. But now my balls weren't against the edge, they were dangling off of it. She gave them a little tap to make them swing and chuckled.

"Good, two eggs ready! Now next, we have to beat the eggs to make them nice and tender. It's important for the eggs to get some air molecules so they expand, so you have to beat them with that in mind."

She grabbed my shaft with her left hand and pulled back against my body in front of her crotch. And then she leaned forward, readied the whisk, and CLOP. She smacked them, sending them swinging under the stool and as they came back up... CLOP. I could feel the wires of the whisk press into my nuts. CLOP, "AAH", I exclaimed. She looked back at me, hopped off my lap, releasing my cock forward, and then slammed the whisk into my balls - upwards this time. CLOP, and then what I didn't expect... CLAP, as my balls smacked into my cock.

"Sometimes I like to whisk my eggs with sausage to give them some extra flavor", she chided. I grabbed my balls, and then tried to straighten myself up on the stool. "Julie...", she grabbed my ball bag... "hush."

"We're almost done with your meal, sugar plums! Now we just have to scramble them."

She then looked like she had a thought. She looked at me, and down at my groin, I still had a semi - and smirked. She then unzipped her jeans, and began to pull them off, turning around as she bent down to take them off. At the sight of that freckled rump, by the time she turned around, my cock rose to full mast. And then it somehow rose higher. She had a pink thong on and legs to die for.

"Good, we needed to get that out of the way! Now let me take out our pan!"

She stepped forward, and pulled me up a bit from the stool by my cock, as I leaned against the counter, and then with a surprising agility, lifted up her leg and planted her foot on my chest. Straight in my eyesight, was everything but that sliver. And as she saw me look down, she pushed me down flat onto the counter with her foot, and climbed up on the counter herself and stood up.

"Time to scramble, and that's the fun with this, you can just do anything to move it all around!"

With my balls laying flat against me, and my cock standing up straight, and legs spread aside, there was nothing stopping her.

STOMP! "But this time, you keep your utensil in there, and just keep on moving!" She grinded her forefoot into my nuts against me, pushing either to a side, pressing down on the left and right individually. She then pulled me up to sit straight, and so my balls laid flat against the table. STOMP! Her heel went right down on my balls and she kept them there, rolling them across the surface.

"And then once they are scrambled, you flip it around so they don't stick to the pan!" She bent down and picked up a spatula. THWACK! She slid them under my nuts, and this was the most ominous feeling. My balls lying on something.

"Then you turn off the heat!" she exclaimed. "Oh look, they're cooking residually!" as she examined my scrotum moving around as my balls laid flat on the spatula. I covered them with my hands on top.

She crouched down to get closer and sat down on the counter facing me with her legs folded with the spatula's handle in her left hand. I took my chance, "Julie, they're done, they're done!" I noticed that she had undone a few buttons. Her puppies were almost right out there, and my handle stayed right up. She saw me take a glance. Honey, we still have to plate them, with the toast, remember?

"Julie, please, I bust my ass out there working everyday, I can't take more of this. I'm sorry, please."

"You know what, honey, you're right.", she said as she lifted the spatula up gently with my balls. "You do bust your nuts out there everyday. And this was your mistake today. So it's only fair that you bust your balls."

I went wide eyed. "Julie?"

"We're done making the eggs. Now let's have you make some jelly and then a sandwich. Listen up, or I'll make it a sausage, egg, and cheese instead. Put your hands under the spatula."

I put them under. She pulled it out and let my balls fall into my hands with a slight thud, I winced.

"Now, use one hand to slap them."

CLAP. "Now punch". THUD. "OHHH."

"Wow, I didn't expect you to really do it right. Now repeat until I get the toast ready. If you stop early, I'll have to do it myself."

And then, she began to unbutton her shirt.

CLAP. "ahhh". THUD. CLAP. THUD."arghhh." CLAP. THUD. She was midway, and her plump tits pressed together by her bra... "Toast is almost ready." Oh my god! CLAP! "groan." THUD! "OHHH!" CLAP! THUD!

As she got to the last button, she paused for me to do one last CLAP!

She walked up to me and rested my balls in her palm. "Nice jelly, now should I put it in the toast?"

I nodded. She grinned and tugged on my sack to get me sitting up on the edge of the counter. Then let go and spread her puppies apart, pushing them up and letting my balls fall in. Then she let go, this wasn't so bad. Even my cock was resting on cleavage.

"Ready?" She pulled her tits apart and then smashed them together on my balls - POW! Now I could feel the centers of my nuts ringing. POW! Without warning she slammed them together once more upon my balls.

"Great, now our jelly's all over our toast!"

She, pulled out my balls and gave them one little squeeze to see me wince. "Just checking."

I slid off the edge of the counter and laid myself flat on the ground to rest. I was done, but I needed a break. Julie hopped up on a stool, and spread her legs, putting her hands flat on the stool and looking down at me.

"You know, there's only one thing left honey. You used the money you should've tipped me with to get a coffee. You should apologize."

I hadn't lost my spirit, and stood back up. "Sugar tits, didn't you say that you that you wanted to stand on your own two feet? Why the tip?"

She had gotten a bit playful after getting revenge, but that brought a glare right back into her eyes, she hopped off the stool, her tits jumping right with her.

She stepped forward... "what about you?" and WHAM!, her foot flies right into my balls, sending me crumpling to the ground. Before I could react, she lifted my legs up and planted her foot squarely on my junk. "You got it black, didn't you? Maybe I shouldn't stop till your balls are black and blue."

"But I'll give you a tip instead."

"DON'T!" STOMP!

"DINE!" STOMP!

"OUT!" STOMP!

"IF!" STOMP!

"YOU!" STOMP!

"CAN'T" STOMP!

"TIP!" She paused looked me in the eye. STOMP!

She then held her foot in there for a minute, crushing my nuts.

Julie dropped my legs, took a step forward and then sat down on her knees. Despite the whopping my nuts had taken, there wasn't a way I couldn't be hard. Her rack was perfect, and her sitting there like that, her thighs pressed together, her back arched, everything bare but where I wanted to be...

She took one last good look, examining her eggs. "What do you know, the supplier must've sent goose ones by accident."