When will the suffering stop? Not having money is a never ending cycle of struggle.

Losing my job has been the worst thing thats ever happened to me. I don’t even have car insurance right now and every time I drive I basically risk being fined or jailed. It’s a seriously penalty to drive with a suspended license and no insurance but I have no choice right now because I can’t pay the reinstatement fee or insurance. Ive tried applying for medical assistance (Medicaid or Medicare or whatever) only to jump through a thousand hoops to be denied because I don’t have the right paperwork. I currently have a multitude of health issues right now but yet in fear to see someone because I don’t want to accumulate charges. My phone bill is due on Friday and I don’t even have money to pay it. I have $10 left in gas for my tank and that’s it. The only reason I’m eating is because I have food stamps. I don’t have family and friends to ask for help because my family was abusive. I don’t have close friends because growing up in an abusive environment caused me to have a multitude of mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

No one should have to deal with this. It feels like I’m just being punished because I lost a job. A lot of resources in my state, I live in Utah, are useless. I’m homeless but a lot of programs here won’t pay for my rent unless I have a freaking lease. Of course I don’t have a lease I was evicted in December. To sign up for even a place to live is months and months out. Everything is such a shit show.

I’m so exhausted and so so sad.