Am I overthinking it?

I barely post let alone share my feelings. I’m a GPST in surgery. I started GP as it was my second option and I thought I will just do my job and not involve myself much with patients because someone else will do that until I CCT in this speciality, do a lucrative special interest and get into another training, but to my demise, I actually did the opposite and here is why.

I thought GPs will be the good ones who look after patients “holistically” unlike how I dealt with them throughout years of working in hospital settings. The amount of patients who were in tears when I just try to be a human is crazy and many of them said something like “I’m finally being heard” and actually get them treated. As rewarding as it sounds, it feels like a burden on me now that I actually want to stop seeking my desired speciality and stay in GP to help people? It’s not my passion and I feel I’ll do myself unjust if stay in it, but I feel I will keep looking back at times I made people feel better just by listening and that I could’ve done more.

I know I’m not Superman and I can’t save everyone but is my failure to get into my dream speciality a coincidence? A sign? Or maybe I’m subconsciously giving up on my dream?