family / people are suspicious of me (M/21)

i have always tried acting and gaslighting myself into thinking its in my head, but i cant ignore it anymore.

ever since i was like 13 i always get the feeling that people are weirded out by my behavior. i never share anything about me with anybody, i never exchange more than a few sentences with anybody, only the bare minimum. i never ask people about themselves, i never ask them how to do something or ask for help. i am this oddity in everybodie's life, im that guy people think of when imagining a weird person. i never message in the family group chat, when family visits i say hi, sit down for a few minutes in the living room then go to my room and only go back out to say bye.

i feel like people are weirded out and scared of me, its like they dont know what im capable of and what i do, for all they know i could be a serial killer, predator or similar.

what im not ashamed to say is: i cant blame them. i cant blame ''normal'' people for expecting ''normal behavior'' and getting this weird asocial non emotive character they can never get to know. when i go to the store or to the movies i feel like they think i just killed somebody outside and use the cinema as an alibi. its like they have zero trust in me and expect the worst.