I want to have sex with my book

UNIVERSITY OH MY GOD,

I understand it is useful for many people, you get an experienced professor, a class environment, ability to network and more. You pay money to commit to a system which gives you a beautiful campus with facilities, events, clubs and people to socialise with. It truly is an amazing environment, I believe it is fun and you make lifelong memories and have the most action-packed days. the whole idea that this is your only chance at experiencing this gets a lot of young people trapped, and it got me trapped too, when I was 18, i started pursuing tertiary education, and upon arrival it was even better than what was described.

Until, I took a Discrete Mathematics course and it changed my entire life. Learning that subject changed my life and entire outlook. Beginning that class, it felt easy, and it was quite a cool subject and different, it was different, best way to describe it.

I didn't particularly treat it any different from my other courses at the time and soon enough, started missing the classes and just going in for the quizzes, all my previous courses followed this pattern unless the course professor was like 'I will record attendance every class guys', then I had to attend but yea, i would skip em and just be studying whatever would come and thats how the course started going by,

soon the content started to add up and the stakes become higher, from quizzes to midterms, it was for this first midterm where everything changed, when I start to study a subject it's like every other respectable subject that doesn't require memorisation, you understand , then you practice.

I did this, but then I don't even know why I got hooked into it so much I started to indulge into it so deeply, I started to just think and think on my own and then my thoughts floated around beautifully and it felt fantastic to think what I was thinking, and thats when it clicked in my brain,

the entirety of my tertiary education was spent reading pirated books, I thought to myself, if this is true, if I got through all my previous courses, like data structures, calculus, linear algebra reading books, without requiring a teacher, doesnt that just mean I can learn anything ?

You know up until this point, the only book I might have finished in my life was Geronimo Stilton or Diary of a wimpy kid, and here I was now back to books to go through my courses.

I'm going too off-topic here, but look, to someone reading this, please try reading a book on whatever course, an intensive one, about the topic, fat juicy book, then try to understand it and realize you don't understand some parts, then try to understand why you don't understand those parts, understanding why you don't understand what you don't understand is what gets you to a crazy undescribable level of understanding of shit, then you get better and better at being able to learn from simple old books. After that, try to do your course, or anything you want to learn not from a YouTube video, your professor or friends, but just yourself and a book, just try it once, if you can do it, trust me you are not the one who formal education is made for. YOU ARE NOT, i don't care what people try to tell you, your degree will not matter forget it, I am 20 now, after 2 years I have dropped out.

Why? I'm gambling that in 2 years I will have something more valuable than the degree.