I am messing up everything

I am 20(M) going through idk what but it is hard i am student in india as the title suggests i messed up a lot in 2 years i am getting weaker physically and mentaly lost about 15kgs last year had a great phisique now i look like an addict I just don't know how to handle things so i am writing this to strangers who are better than me

So it starts when i started to leave for my college its pretty expensive has good reputation everything my parents said they can afford it so i joined. So i did well but some how i lost interest in everything during my second semester as i was figuring it out which i actually started just then boom i get a news in my 3rd sem my father has stage 2 cancer i was not doing well in my college so i didn't brought up any of my failed subjects and things but due to this cancer thing i got more scared my grades got worse i have 12 backlogs

i have no skills always tired and sad slowly loosing social contact with everyone no one knows how i am doing i thought to end it all by suicide and leave everything but couldn't due to the faces of my family my sister my mother i may not do well in future ik certain of it i smoke and waste my parents money i will be having student debt due to my fathers situation

do i have chance to live and solve things if i do tell me i have no one that would help me with this ik this looks like an sympathy stunt but i need it and i dont see anything else which comes to my mind rn i am on the verge of leaving everything this post is a vent for me i will acknowledge any response to it may it be advice sympathy or anything else i wish to survive this should not be the end of me