I feel so disgusting and confused sometimes

I’ve been trying to explore my hypersexuality and understand the root cause(s) of it, which has been near impossible due to how I’m already traumatized by many things and most of my childhood is a blur. I remember I was exposed to a lot of porn/sexual content when I was little because of unrestrained internet access, I’ve been groomed, sexually harassed many times and SAed once. I used to turn to almost constant uncomfortable masturbation to cope with stress and depersonalization. I feel like it was a combination of these things and maybe other stuff that lead to me being hypersexual, but I have trouble feeling validated in my struggles, feeling that they “weren’t bad enough” for me to be so fucked up sexually now. I think this is a common experience, but I go through massive highs and lows of feeling like I’m the sexiest fucker alive and then feeling disgusting and untouchable, which I then try to get out of feeling that way by engaging in sexual stuff only to feel even worse afterwards. Its a vicious cycle. I was wondering if anyone else felt a similar way?