Crying when the plan changes

I'll start saying that I'm not diagnosed with autism (or with anything at all), but many of the people close to me think I have it, so..

Alright, look, I just need to explain everything somewhere that I won't be called crazy, and I think this is the place.

We're in spring break, a week in Spain (idk about other countries) and I had this week kind of planed. I want to read comics the whole week, most of the day every day. Since the last trimester ended, and since we haven't had a break in between the second and the third, I haven't really gotten into this one in terms of studies. I've been reading comics in class everytime I had the opportunity and haven't studied or practiced once in home this last three weeks. So my plan was this week, since is break, read a loott (which I did too in the last week of February, which was also time off, and I enjoyed it a lot) and when I get back I start studying and being productive again while I read some times at home, but not as frequently or with such intensity.

Everything planed, everything perfect. I've been looking into which comics come out or are newly announced so I know what to expect each Wednesday (day that comic issues come out). God, Daredevil: Born Again last episode comes out this Wednesday, and I'm finally home to watch it! I have all day! (Normally it's school day and I have to wait until I get home)

(Maybe it's too much context, sorry.)

But, guess what, my mom just decided she has to make a trip THIS WEEK to Morocco because she needs some papers ASAP. She doesn't want to leave me alone at home because there's men here and she doesn't think I can take care of myself alone, which, yk, fair. But that kind of ruins my whole week. She told me we have to go out ON WEDNESDAY??? And it's not a one day trip either, she told me we came back Friday. Well, there goes my week! Now I have to plan clothes, music (for the trip), things to bring, I have to wake up early and I'm gonna spend SO MANY HOURS just going and coming back. First a car, (at 4:40am I must say, sharing car because we don't have one), then lines, and walking on the street, and buying a ticket, and more lines (torturous hours of being still with my feet hurting), finally getting on the ship. Maybe even having to rush because we're late or think we're late to something. Then I go out of the country and don't have wifi anymore, and I have to be on the fucking boat. Then we go out, more shit in lines and people and time and then a taxi. That's HOURS. HOURS I could have spent FUCKING READING. I READ 1 ISSUE IN 20MIN, YOU KNOW HOW MANY I COULD HAVE READ IN THAT TIME IF I WAS COMFORTABLE IN MY BED???

Terrible. Just terrible. But, hey, at least is like 1 day. Wednesday for trip, Thursday there taking the paper, Friday coming back. I lost three days doing nothing but well... I must say, I can't even read peacefully on the trip because I read in a tablet, you wanna try rushing though the city or through 5 security systems and vehicles controlling a fucking tablet and whatever else I have to move around? It's not like I can even make something of that time while I'm waiting, because I have to pay attention to what's happening around me all the time and won't even be able to read 1 page without beging self-conscious of my responsibilities. I hate trips so much.

But guess what, then she changes planes again. It seems like we're coming back on Saturday, not Friday. Which, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?? THE LAST THREE DAYS I HAVE BEEN CONVINCING MYSELF I CAME BACK ON FRIDAY, AND THE LITRAL DAY WE GO OUT YOU TELL ME IT'S ACTUALLY SATURDAY??? Well, that ruined it even more. A lot more. Because that means we are making the trip to go back on Saturday, which means we get home close to at night, and I just lost another day (god, I'm fucking crying rn). WHICH MEANS, I only get Sunday off, AND THE NEXT DAY IT'S SCHOOL. I HAVE TO SLEEP EARLY. I can't make that day worth it because I have school the next day and I have to rest from the exhausting fucking trip. I wanted to use that day as maybe read or maybe do something productive and start with school work, since by that point I would have been 7+ days reading. But yeah, that was before the fucking plan change. The next week I have a philosophy exam, really hard, I wanted to work that week on that because I would have already rested and fulfilled some of my hyperfixation, THAT'S WHY I PLANNED IT. But nooo, I Will cry this fucking week and the next one because I won't get that fucking rest. And yeah, it's a trip and there's no school, so it technically is resting, BUT NO IT ISN'T.

Yeah yeah, very sad, wanna know something funnier??? She changed the thing AGAIN. I'm so mad. I mean, she technically didn't change it, I just didn't think of it, but still. So, it turns out, that she doesn't get the paper from the main city or anything close to where the ship sales, we have to go to her village... at the other fucking side of the country... without a car...

Yeah, so, we have to take a train first, SO MORE LINES, and if we don't get the fast train (which is like an hour of trip) IT'LL TAKE US 4-5 HOURS. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. AND AFTER THAT, WE HAVE TO TAKE A CAR TO HER FAMILY'S HOME. You know what that means? First of all, I'll get there at 4pm or something (12 hour trip, yay), and I'll have to interact with her fucking family. I don't even know the language. AND THEY HAVE KIDS. THE KIDS LIKE ME. THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE. I thought we would get out of the ship, I could go home or hotel or wherever, I literally don't care, and be alone while she goes take the fucking paper and then we can go back. No interaction, not anything, and I can at least read while I'm alone. Now I'm forced to talk with people, because they will find it rude if I don't. I'll have to interact with them, smile, play with the children, be in the family dinners, sleep early (IN MY FUCKING VACATIONS) and generally live with other people without completely ignoring them. I. JUST. WANT. TO. READ. Taking with people already takes so much time, I will be able to read, what, 3 issues a day? At MAX? I normally read 20+ issues so you have an idea. I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERACT WITH ANYONE THIS WHOLE WEEK. TALKING TIME TO EAT OR SLEEP IS ALREADY A DISADVANTAGE.

They will all get mad at me for being all day with the tablet/phone and being rude and not being happy of being with my family and bla bla bla. We're gonna go out and "have fun". No. At least give me a room and don't bother me for the whole day. I won't go out to eat. I won't take those dinners that take 2 hours long. I won't go out so you can buy me jewelry or have a fun time in whatever place you want us to be. I will ignore the children. I will barely answer you. I didn't want any of this. Leave me the fuck alone.

Btw, I made sure to download a bunch of comics to read, but they're all from like the same 4 characters and I won't have wifi so if I get bored of that and want something new, then fuck me I guess. Actually, what I want to read now are the comics I've had at home from the last two months, that's what I want. And I could, if I was in my fucking home. I won't take them with me, they will be destroyed in the trip. I payed a lot for them. And I won't download them because I bought them in psychic, why tf would I read them online.

Oh, right, I forgot. You all remember that this Wednesday the LAST EPISODE of Daredevil: Born again comes out, yeah? Guess who won't be at home to watch it on the TV. I'll have to watch it at 4am on the car in the way to the ship, in the small screen of my phone before I get out of the country. THE LAST EPISODE. I can't even wait until I get home BECAUSE I WON'T HAVE TIME LEFT TO ENJOY, and c'mon, it's the last episode. I have already waited a week, I can't wait four more days.

So yeah, I'm just crying because my whole plan is ruined and I had everything so controlled to make sure my needs and wants were satisfied while also being rested and productive in school, and that way I can also go back to school being a socially good person because I would have been a week without contact (and I will say this last 2 weeks I've been kind of very cold, so that's one reason why I wanted rest)

I hope this doesn't seem too crazy and makes sense to anyone else. Please, tell me I'm not alone in this, because I'm sure if I tell this to any one of my friends they would think I'm crazy and over reacting.