i have a crush on my friend

so im closeted and all of my friends are straight. ive never really had a crush on any of them until theres this one guy who somehow caught my attention even though were not like super close but we’re good. im not exactly sure what it is about him but I really like his moustache and especially his voice. theres just something about it that sticks with me.

weve always been on good terms but lately ive found myself thinking about him a lot more. Then I went on flingster and came across someone whose voice sounds just like his. and honestly I think ive become kind of obsessed with this random guy just because of that. ive never even met him in real life but when we talk I catch myself pretending its actually him im speaking to

its sad knowing that i cant have him forever. i cant force someone to like me. the thought of him being with a girl or liking someone else or even someone else being his roommate (which is one of my close friend actually) just makes me feel… jealous idk maybe even a little mad. not at him just at the situation. It hurts liking someone you know you probably never had a chance with in the first place.