My mom hid my diagnosis - now the truth has set me free

So I am 29 years old and it was not long ago I discovered something that was buried beneath me this whole time.

Long story short I have two brothers with autism (I have a non autistic brother and I'm the only sister in the family). Anyway, I was totally brainwashed by my abusive mother and convinced me that I had autism in my special education IEP as the category but always told me that "i got tested inaccuracy". Anyhow she like many parents back then thought of the stereotype of autism (aspergers syndrome, intellectual disability) with my brothers who were diagnosed had that stereotype. Of course me being female made it harder to identity that I was on the spectrum.

So many years later when dating my boyfriend, he had noticed that I showed a lot of signs of autism. Please note he was not trying to pre-diagnos me but was only trying to figure out my shift in never understanding his sarcasm, always doing the same things, talked and hyperfixated over the topics I enjoyed discussing, and of course not keeping touch of friends.

I was thankful my boyfriend said something because as much as it was a shock for me to have him assume, that same time period, I was able to disconnect my abusive mom. After doing all that, I went through all my documents that I was able to retrieve from my mom before cutting contact. That's when I found doctors paperwork that showed my diagnosis as "PERVASIVE DEVELOPMENTAL DISORDER". The moment I read that I broke down thinking how terrible it was my mom would hide this for me. But at the same time, I felt so free to find out that I had autism this entire time. I felt less crazy, I felt less depressed, and I felt less anxious once I realized it.

I know that I should get myself re-evaluated but I was super thankful that at least found pure evidence that had autism. I am of course trying to find a good evaluator that will re-evaluate me. But at this time, I couldn't be more happy and free that I am able to find the right tools and resources to help myself and of course accept myself.

So that being said, I'm going to continue talking about horror films and annoy my boyfriend :)