Anyone ride this monster through till natural menopause and then breathe a huge sigh of relief? Or does it not work that way?

Hey everyone,

I'm 44 and have been experiencing Menstrual Psychosis since I was 31, and regular PMDD since I started my periods. At its worst, I was hospitalized in the psych ward on the first day of my period numerous times - having a full-blown psychotic episode. Menstrual psychosis is a rare entity and there have only been a few case studies done worldwide. I now am on 6 psychiatric meds plus a medication for side effects.

The thing I'm struggling with is that right now, with possibly being in perimenopause, my relationships are all really suffering due to my cycles and symptoms, despite all the meds I am on. Because as I get closer to my period and even while I am on it, I still go scarily close to psychosis. Lots of crying, sobbing uncontrollably, paranoia, making connections between randoms thoughts, anger, feelings of people doing me injustice, etc. I grew up in an abusive family but I am generally a happy and forgiving person so it is really my PMDD that makes me hang on to people's mistakes. This is possibly my father's last decade of life...he is 75...and I live with him due to disability, so I don't know if it's better to be trying meds that make me feel awful or having subpar relationship with my dad during this time.

I have found a doctor in my area that treats PMDD, but am confused about whether it is worth it this late in the game. It took me literally a decade to find a combination of psychiatric medications that worked for me, even though it doesn't "work" that well around my period (but keeps me out of the hospital for sure). What if they want to try me on zillions of birth control pills and that takes another decade to find the right ones, and by then, I hit menopause anyways? Then I would have wasted an entire decade of my life trying meds that would ultimately be irrelevant. At least now, I have about a week a month that I feel good.

Has anyone here been diagnosed with PMDD so late in the game that they felt it didn't make sense to treat it, and just rode it out instead? How did menopause feel for you? Are you relieved of your PMDD now or not really? Any stories of experiences are much welcome. I am very much confused about what I want to do.