My grandma refuses to acknowledge that my fear of animals—especially dogs—is real.

She treats it like some childish phase or an inconvenience that I’m deliberately holding onto to make things difficult. Whenever I flinch or back away from her dog, she doesn’t try to understand or support me. Instead, she scolds me in front of everyone, saying I’m overreacting and that I’m going to make the younger cousins afraid too. But what she is really doing (at least I think so, because it’s the only reason I can think she’d act this way) is trying to protect her image—she wants to be the grandma with the sweet dog and the perfectly happy family, not the one with a grandkid who "ruins the mood." She loves her dog very much and expects everyone else to love it too, even though I heavily dislike and I’m afraid of animals.

She talks down to me like I’m just being dramatic, like I’m staging this whole fear to get attention or make her life harder. And when I try to explain that I’m genuinely afraid, she brushes it off with sarcastic remarks or cold indifference, as if my fear is somehow a personal attack on her or an embarrassment she has to correct.

Worse, she doesn’t just dismiss my fear—she tries to control it. She’ll corner me emotionally, saying things like, “You’re hurting the dog’s feelings,” or “You’re making things awkward for everyone.” And if I don’t suddenly pretend to adore her dog like everyone else, she gets moody or gives me the silent treatment. I refuse to like her dog and give it love (along with any animals) It’s not about the dog. It’s about control. It’s like she’s trying to guilt me into performing instead of actually showing my real self and helping me feel safe. It’s stressful for me, and it’s exhausting.