Crashing out here so I don’t crash out to my crush

Dear Redditors, please allow me to write as I’m just fighting somebody. Feel free to reply back, but even better, any sort of advice would be great.

Also, this might be long.

With that said, excuse my following words:

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE!?! BRO YOU SAID YOU ME AND THEN YOU FUCKING PULL BAAAACKKKK??????? I get it, I do understand, our “thing is difficult” BUT HAVE YOU EVER FUCKING ASKED NE WHAT THE FUCK DO I WANT!?!??

Fuuuckkkk I want YOU, YOU IDIOOOTTTTT STOP IGNORING ME, DONT YOU SEE THAT YOURE MAKING ME LOOK DESPERATE!??!?? Broooooo, we used to have it so good and now you’re pulling back? Really???? You don’t want to call me or play with me, whenever we talk it’s like 15 min PER DAYYYY WHEN WE USED TO TALK FOR HOURRSSSSSSSSS AND YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND YOU SAID YOU LOVE MEEEE but you’re depressed and overwhelmed, GUESS WHAT? ME TOO, I told you I didn’t wanted to be a burden to you, how is this enough to you?

Is it because you’re avoiding everything as you said?? Is it because you don’t want to make it happen?? Because you think it’s impossible? Are you scared of pain?

I’ll tell you what I’m scared of, spend the rest of my Iife in love with you, spend my whole life trying to move on from you, while dating other people HOPIIINGGGG I FEEL SOMETHING FUCK.

Broooooo stop it already, why don’t you let us be happy?

I’ll show you how possible it is:

1. Plane tickets? We can go half and half and that’s about $300 per person during high season, if we plan ahead it’s even cheaper. According to my budget, we can do it 2 to 3 times a year.

2. I can get a remote job and go visit you and stay a week with you while my kids are on vacations so they stay with their dad. Even with the job I have today I can do this

3. Whenever you visit me you can stay at my house, so $0

4. Regarding food, bro I’ll feed you damnit

5. I know you work a lot you dumdum, that’s ok, I really don’t need a lot of interaction to be happy bro, but at least give me AT LEAST, 30 min daily. Maybe a phone call every other day??? Maybe let’s watch something together??? Play something together!? And at least say goodbye so I don’t wait hours for you to text me back

6. I’m down to move closer to the border so we can see each other every other weekend or so

7. The only thing i can’t tell you for sure is the long term/marriage thingy. Because of my kiddos, and my shared custody I can’t leave the country permanently with them and I’m not planning to abandon them. But maybe one day you want to move here? Maybe the dad of my kiddos lets me go to you. Now he has another daughter, maybe he will let me go.

but even soooooo, why are you running for me??? Didn’t we went through this already last time?????? Last time when we fell in love and I had to leave to “get rid of the feelings” I ghosted you for a whole year, just to come back to you telling me that you loved me all along.

Nope. Idk when does your avoidance it’s really not being interested. I’m exhausted of being patient, I can’t get mad at you because I do understand, but would you be so kind to give me peace???? If you love me, fucking love me you idiot, if you love me and will NEVER show me love or interest, so be it, that would be the worst thing ever because it triggers my fear or “being in love forever trying to get over you”

Or just straight tell me you don’t love me at all

Fuck

Also, if you love me but need time to sort out the shit in your life I’m willing to wait BUT FUCKING TELL MEEE

Geez. This pisses me off SO FUCKING MUCH and I know I need to talk to you, and I want to do it in a calm, serious but loving way, because the truth is that I’m worried about you. You worry about your friends, I also worry about you.

You idiot