Depressed as a teen/young adult (mostly) well adjusted in 40s but feels like I missed out on all of the good times

People say their life got better in their 40s but I don't see how.

I guess some people find meaning in starting a family, a lucky few have a fulfilling career that pays well...

The rest? Scraping by on a job they probably just tolerate or have no choice. Maybe you get to go on a nice trip once a year, maybe every few years, but then it's right back to work. Work takes up all of your time and energy

You're too old to reinvent yourself, try something new or really have fun. That's not "mature"

I used to daydream to a pretty bad degree. Nothing crazy actually, just past choices turning out better.

I actually have trouble remembering details of high school and college because fantasies of memories that could have been muddy the waters of the actual memories for lack of a better word.

I've gotten over my shyness but all friends are just work acquaintances or old friends from school I see once every 6 months and we don't have much in common anymore.

It's like a strange irony to feel depression/anxiety gone but it's too late to do anything with it

Not even sure where I was going with this or anybody else can relate