SSRI broke my body... my fault or my "therapist"?

Long story (kinda) short:

27 yo M. I did ketamine and shrooms 2-3 times in 2021. It opened my mind and made me more confident and compassionate, but got scared of doing illicit drugs.

Went to a pscyh/therapist asking if prescription antidepressants might have the same effect. She didn't even wait for me to finish my sentence before prescribing lexapro. She said I hated myself and had "I told you so energy" just because I mentioned that I was enjoying COVID times because I got to work out more and hang out more with my roommates. she liked to call facing my fears "exposure therapy" LOL such a fake profession. That's literally just "practice"

Within 2 months I had SSRI-induced mania. Never had mania in my life. Couldn't sleep for 4 days. GF broke up with me. tried to quit lexapro but anxiety withdrawals too heavy. a different psych added bupropion and hydroxyzine which I now needed because the lexapro permanently fucked my sleep and motivation. my muscles became loose and my joints were unstable. I have read that SSRIs can cause loss of skeletomuscular tone. felt that one.

always been physically fit and active. used to run 5-minute miles for fun. played soccer/surf/hike/climb. whatever. now I had no motivation to work out because "what's the point"

kept on with it all even though I felt nothing b/c withdrawals and anxiety were so tough. it did seem to make me somehow better in some social situations. less excitable. but some of my old friends from college... just couldn't connect with them in the same way anymore.

within a year I had a complex meniscus tear from weight gain and lack of exercise. (but I also think the SSRI directly contributed via loosening my muscles if that makes sense. I can actually feel my knee getting stronger the second lexapro wears off after 24 hours. but then the anxiety hits and I have to take it again.) got surgery. they cut out half my meniscus. the surgeon fucked up. kept gaslighting me too. he said everything was fine. different surgeon verified that my original surgeon fucked up. can barely walk these days. meniscus is too far gone to fix.

TL;DR, I did some illicit substances. then tried to be a good boy and take scrips. therapist practically sold me Lexapro. caused mania, lost GF, permanent sleep issues, apathy, and (I believe though doctors won't/can't verify) direct meniscus damage via loosening my muscular tone. to be fair, I also gained weight and didn't exercise due to SSRI-induced apathy. Been trying to tough through all this, but the longer it goes, the more I want to suit. I know my odds are slim though. No money. Won't play well in court that I also did street drugs occasionally. They would definitely try to pin all my problems on those despite the fact that I only did handful of times and stopped long before all this other health BS came along.

So: did I ruin my life or did my therapist? Or is it 50/50?

Often, I wish I had never done any substances at all and just stuck with my ultra running to treat my anxiety.