My friend calls me 24/7 and I’m sick of it

My friend calls me multiple times a day. I used to respond every time, and I’d be stuck on the phone for over an hour when I had other stuff to do. I’d have to talk to her instead of listen to music on my drives. This didn’t use to bother me.

Somewhere along the way I realized a big reason why I’m so sick of it is because ALL she ever talks about is HERSELF. I know everything about her past, her childhood, her adolescence, her family. We will talk about that stuff for hours. I know everything about her parents and their childhoods. Every detail of her parents divorce.

One day I tried to vent to her (which she does to me) and she immediately seemed disengaged and bored and then pivoted the conversation to be about HER struggles with my issue. Then she pivoted THAT conversation to be about how we think her mother’s trauma made her the mother she was. For some reason in that conversation I mentioned my dad’s first name and she said, “Wait, that’s your dad’s name?”

AFTER 6 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP AND ME KNOWING LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT HER AND HER ENTIRE FAMILY FROM BEING A GOOD LISTENER AND ASKING QUESTIONS OUT OF SINCERE CURIOSITY ABOUT MY FRIEND I REALIZED. SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW MY DAD’S NAME. MY DAD, WHO IS MY HERO. Meanwhile I know enough about her mom’s life, that I can help speculate with her about what went wrong.

I have severe depression and OCD and often don’t have the energy to be making conversation for over an hour. I’ve told her this. She continues to call me all the time. One time I guess I missed one of her calls and HOURS later posted a song on my instagram notes and she got VERY MAD AT ME. She sent me a tearful voice note saying “I know you’ll look at the missed call notification and then go and post something knowing you’re ignoring me.” That’s how self centered she is. She pictured me doing something mean and made herself cry over it and then asked me to explain why I can’t take her call every time I miss her calls. So now I’m nonstop texting her “Sorry, I was having lunch with my mom!” And she’ll say “it’s okay” and then try and call me again.

I’m sorry I just don’t have the energy to be having these phone calls anymore. And ever since I realized how little she cares about me and my life, I’m just not curious about hers anymore. She will talk about herself, her boyfriend, her coworker that hurt her feelings, for an hour. And SOMETIMES if I’m lucky she will throw in a courtesy question about me. Then she again loses energy and just softly says “ok” and then moves back on to herself. I told her months ago I couldn’t make it to an orientation. Then the other day she asks me “are you still going to that orientation?” Are you fucking kidding me?

I genuinely don’t know how to make this stop. I don’t want to be on bad terms with her because I’ve been friends with her since we were 14. We call each other best friends. But my best friend doesn’t know anything about me. She doesn’t know anything about MY family, MY past because she just doesn’t care. I just feel like someone she talks at. She’s VERY sensitive and emotional. UGHHHHHHH IM SO DONE.