I’m stuck in a cycle

It hurts

Tw: suicidal

I alr spoke in another post but fucking hell it’s hurts so bad I’ve never felt actual heartache before this I e never been the one to feel so horribly and helplessly.

It really really hurts my skin is crawling my hands are shaking and he doesn’t care he really doesn’t care about me and I want to throw up I want to pull at my hair I want to hit anything and just scream Idk what to do, it fucking hurts I’m sitting here in silence praying to god to make it go away I really don’t understand how I’m here in this situation I don’t understand what I did to him to get this bad treatment I don’t understand anything

I feel sick and nauseous and everything is exhausting and it hurts and I know what I need to do I really do. I just want to stop feeling this pain. I don’t understand. I wish i was dead. He makes me wish I never existed