Why me

I don't hate this but it more makes me hate myself. I got pulled over byvthe stupid State troops (whatever doesn't matter) they ask why I'm drive I said it helps my depression and to just think and he looked at me really weird and I said idk if you struggle with that and when he said "no " I instantly got a wave of sadness cause why do I have to be this way. I'd LOVE TO KNWO what it's like to not have this and just be happy and "Normal" . I just hate when I talk to people who don't have it and it's nothing against them they are always kind but then I get a wave of hate and sadness cause why me

I also get it's genetics my whole dad's side of the family is fu©ked and have depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, learning disability and why me did I gotta get half this shit But my older brother is perfectly fine. Damn why me.