I think I raped my ex gf..

I was in her city for a month earlier this year.

The first day we met up we had sex (she initiated).

A few days later I clumsily tried to initiate something above the belt (before the first incident I was a virgin so I'm totally clueless). But I'm not sure she understood my intention so I tried again. She made it clear she didn't want to.

She then explained that she didn't like people touching her. I said it's fine if she didn't want to be touched and I told her that in the gay community people like that are called "stones". She said it's not that she doesn't want to be touched, rather she has alot of religious induced shame about it.

I didn't ask again, but about 20 minutes later she said "ok you can do it (above the belt thing)." I said "are you sure?" She said yes and I told her to tell me to stop if she needed.

I can't remember the timeline exactly, but somewhere in this sequence of events I told her "tell me if I'm being to innapropriate" and she said she liked it when people are innapropriate.

Later on she said "now I'm horny" and I said "can I help with that?" She said it wasn't a problem.

Anyways, after this I felt like she was being kinda distant, but she was saying she was extremely busy with work (working until 10pm at night), I thought I was just being needy so I disreguarded my worries. For the rest of the time I was in her city she seemed too busy to meet up with me, but she was really apologetic about that, so I didn't think much of it, even though I was sad.

Anyways. Now it's been a month since I was in her city. She just texted me saying she didn't feel comfortable at the time because she's straight (we are both girls).

Now I'm devastated, because I feel like a rapist... I think I pressured her so much.. I am a rapist..