I am extremely confused and need some advice

So i never really thought that i would come on reddit and talk about this but i guess now i should do so.

So there is this girl (17f) that i (15m) have a crush on for like over 3 years now and the situation is very complicated between us therefore i could never really ask her if she likes me or not. Now for its time for some context: i know her basically scince i was born. Our parents were Uni friends and therefore very close, so everytime there was a Party or so we would meet each other. And because im from a country where Boys and girls can't go to school with each other she was one the few "girls" i knew. We were just friends until i moved to another Country. For the summer holidays we came back to visit relatives and family and we also invited them to stay a couple of days with us in our home. And as usual when our families met the kids would sleep in one room together and every other time when there was this kind of sleepovers we would chat or like play games and stuff. But this time it was different, we decided to watch some YT and Movies. After a while she suddenly decided to put her head on my shoulder and at first i thought it might be a coincidence but no, she did so until we decided to finally sleep. Now after that i still didn't had feeling's for her but after some time she eventually became my Crush. And every other summer holiday that i met her we would do something together (we watched movies, we went Bowling, we played Co-op games, etc.) and in my opinion she has always gave me signs e.g. she tried twice to hold my hand but it failed miserably because I have extremely sweaty hands😭 or like when i congratulated her Birthday she send me Heart emojis and this kind of stuff.

NOW what is the problem you may ask: so im not going o see her this summer holidays and idk if she will still have feelings for me in the coming years, therefore im looking to do something because i have noticed that recently when we chatted for a short time her messages were colder than before (we dont chat regularly) and i started to think she might have found someone. The other issue is that if i ask her and she says yes but things don't work between us the relationship between us would become awkward i suppose (because im going to see her probably for a long time in my life here and there) and the same problems would also exist if she says no.

So what should i do? What do you think guys?