I didn’t expect a book to make me question my own worth… but here we are

I’ve been trying to put this into words for days now, and I still don’t really know how to explain it. I just finished the Powerless trilogy by Lauren Roberts – Powerless, Reckless, Fearless – and it completely wrecked me. Not just because of how it ended, but because of why it ended that way. The feeling hasn’t left me since I closed the last page.

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

One of the central characters, Kitt, is the older brother of Kai, one of the protagonists. Throughout the series, you watch Kitt slowly fall apart. He’s not your typical villain – he doesn’t crave power or chaos. He’s just… unbearably lonely. He was never truly loved – not by his mother, who left, not by his father, who only ever saw him as a tool, and not even fully by his brother Kai, the one person he had left.

Kai falls in love with Paedyn, and Kitt knows, deep down, that Kai would always choose her. And he does. That realization, mixed with a lifetime of neglect and emotional starvation, eats Kitt alive. Add to that a poison he’s been secretly taking – a toxic substance meant to make him stronger, but that’s slowly killing him – and you see a man unravel from the inside out. The loneliness, the jealousy, the desperation… it drives him mad. Literally. He becomes unrecognizable. Twisted by pain, by betrayal, by the need to be seen.

In the end, he dies. Alone. Some say he deserved it. But I didn’t feel justice – I felt sorrow. Because behind every “villain” was someone who just wanted to be loved. Who wanted to matter. Who wanted someone to say, “I choose you.”

And now I can’t stop thinking: what if that’s me? What if I go through life never being someone’s first choice? What if I’m always the one people love after someone else? Don’t we all just want to be loved without conditions? To be the person someone fights for?

I know it’s “just a book,” but this story touched something deep in me. Kitt’s pain feels too familiar. And I haven’t been able to let it go since.

Anyone else ever felt this way after reading something?