Do I do this or not?

Hello everybody,

This is my first time seeking some real advice that will help me determine my future, so please be brutally honest - I can take it. I’ve been accepted into an ABSN program that I prayed to get into. It felt like such an accomplishment after spending the last 4 years out of college (with a bachelors of biology) bouncing around jobs that I knew were never going to last, primarily as an EMT and waitress. Both of those jobs burned me out, because you guessed it, people can suck. I have depression and anxiety, probably undiagnosed AuDHD.

Here the issue: my primary motivation for becoming a nurse is job security and salary. I DO also happen to be compassionate, a great communicator and dedicated, so it feels like the right decision. However, I’ve also spent my whole life struggling with my mother’s drug addiction and mental illness. I got the shit kicked out of me emotionally and mentally for the past decade of my life and I’m genuinely worried about more of that.

By going to nursing school, I would be sacrificing 15 months of time, freedom and money (that I don’t even have). If I was absolutely sure about nursing I would be okay making the sacrifices, but I’m having a meltdown thinking about subjecting myself to even more years of getting shit on. I’m definitely worried about burnout. I’m worried about other nurses being toxic. I’m worried about shitty management. Please give it to me straight because I cannot keep fighting for my life. I rather fight for animals or this planet if I’m going to die anyways.

TL;DR: I’m worried that I’m going to work my ass off for a BSN to end up burned out from bedside nursing.

Thank you to anyone and everyone who takes the time to read and/or reply.