Dont know what to do

During the day im masculine 21 years old Guy, I would see guys and be really turned off thinking how I could ever be with him doing funny stuff. whenever I start jerking all I can think off is cock in my mouth. I have a vibrator and buttplug, even got some panties. Have sucked a dick once and it was awesome. But the other day I went into a car with someone and something pushed me off so I left. I dont have anyone to talk about it and dont know if I should continue. Like im living with my parents, i have facial hair that the masculine me during the day would hate to be without because it attracts girls.