help higher sex drive. my bf(34M) doesn't initiate as much anymore and feels pressured by me (29F)

a little long but worth the wait

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months now. (Haven't had sex yet but have had foreplay-both made the decision to wait for sex bc we are religious) He is the sweetest man I know, and I've never been so happy in a relationship before(past ones have been toxic and tumultuous). I have been slow to sexually engage(only foreplay) bc of my past and personal views being vulnerable with a man. So we started foreplay at around 4 or 5 months during which time he was patient and did not push my boundaries.

I've never felt anxious with him until now. We went on vacation 2 months ago and we got in our first argument where we got visibly upset with each other and he said I was mean to him. We resolved it and moved forward. (We do communicate very well with each other). Since then, slowly but surely, our intimacy has gotten less and less and I feel that he has been less open with me which has caused more arguments. Naturally, as a very sexually affectionate person, I have brought this lack of sexual intimacy up to him because I was worried it indicated a change in his feelings towards me. He said to me that his feelings haven't changed but we've been arguing lately and that doesn't make him horny when we are upset with each other. We talked it out and agreed he would initiate more going forward. As he's made this promise, I feel like he HAS been initiating more(1 or 2 a week -30 min distance between each other we see each other 2-3 times a week) but not at the level we used to engage at. So it went from sexual foreplay almost being non-existent after our argument, to him STARTING to initiate again.

The issue I'm experiencing is he says that he feels pressured by me to engage sexually.

He says I get upset when we don't do it and he's right. I do feel undesired when we don't and i feel like he doesn't care about sex or wonder if there's an underlying reason this is happening like a subconscious change in his feelings. He shows he loves me in many ways(i do feel loved) and says he feels most turned on when we have an emotional connection and he feels heard and understood. That's when he gets hard. I feel it.

Its hard for me to understand how I'm pressuring him if he loves me the way he says and that our connection hasn't changed, shouldn't he want to jump my bones 24 7 like I want to with him? I have a high sex drive and he has had issues in the past with a medication that altered his erections but it has been fixed. I would think a guy would want it all the time especially if he loves and wants to be with his partner and marry like he says.

THE ISSUE: Whenever I bring up having MORE sexual foreplay more frequently, he gets upset and says he's been trying and i can see he feels attacked for not doing enough. I don't want to deny my needs. I want to be authentic and communicate with him but I don't want to upset him or make him feel unappreciated.

I feel like im doing more sexually for him like giving him head etc. I want him to finger me more and focus on my pleasure more like he used to(used to eat me out more etc) but have a hard time communicating without him taking offense. He said sometimes he feels I'm using him for sex and feels pressured and this is now what we argue about(lack of sexual intimacy and him feeling pressured)

**TL;DR;** Is this normal? How should i approach this?