Seeking improvement

I have horrible anxiety, I was bullied, and lost family members that affected me deeply I'm 23 and I feel hopeless I can't seem to make new friends I feel like i move slow I'm socially awkward i believe i could be on the autism spectrum no one seems to even like me both my partners cheated on me and I'm tired of feeling like a loser I'm tired of being people's last choice I desire to grow and change I desire to be the person I imagine myself to be what are the first steps I can take to change