AM starting arguments for no reason, feeling guilty to go NC/LC

Hi,

Im 22f and currently live with my AM. I recently lost my dad about 1 year ago and it’s affected us as a family a lot. I’m sure my AM is just trying to start shit with me, but the past couple of days she’s been accusing me of “staring at her” as if I’m death staring her down.

The other day, she offered me a snack and I said yes. As she was getting up to get it, I just looked at her casually as she was going to the pantry. She got mad, raised her voice, told me to “stop staring at her” and imitated a wide eyed stare, implying that’s what I was doing.

Then yesterday I told her the new recipe she made was too salty and she taste tested it. I literally just looked in her direction as she was taste testing, and she accused me of the same exact thing. I told her, “why are you treating me as if I’m some random lady staring at you?” and she was saying things like “I’m just trying to correct you, because other people will say the same thing and I don’t want that to happen” and I’m like “What? nobody has ever said that to me, just you.” and I was like “I’m literally your child, I’m not allowed to look at my own mother?” and she’s like “No, you can’t”. This accusation/argument is something very new. If anything, I’m in my room most of the day.

I don’t know if this is related but about a week ago, we discussed how one of my aunts would death stare me and my (girl) cousins down at family events. My cousins’ mom noticed it as well which is why it was a point of discussion. My mom agreed with me at the time of that conversation. I don’t know if this is my mom trying to seem like a victim and flip the script, but she has been accusing ME of staring at HER like that same aunt.

I genuinely worry about her mental health. There is a part of me that wonders if my mom is potentially going down a path that requires psychiatric evaluation. Especially after she lost her husband and her mom within 2 months of each other.

I know the options are LC/NC but I feel guilty because she’s my only parent and I already don’t have my dad. I don’t want my younger brother to be left alone with her and I go live my life freely and it seems like I don’t care about him. I don’t know how to detach from her or the concept of family at all. We are all sticking together after my dad died. I don’t exactly rely on outsiders because they can be unreliable and my family feels like the only place of guaranteed “comfort” at this point. I feel obligated to stick with her and I’d feel like a traitor if I don’t, especially after our recent financial problems. She expects me to contribute financially as well and I just don’t know when I’m gonna have my own life. I know from the outside it looks like, “just leave her and move out” but emotionally it’s tough for me. I worry if she takes some extreme measure or goes even more crazy if Ieave her. I don’t want spend any more of my life being the nearest punching bag whenever she feels like it. I don’t deserve to spend the one life I have, like this. If I grey rock she takes it as an opportunity to do even more, so I have to retaliate in order for her to stop. But it’ll always be something new again and again.